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We've covered plenty of outlandish moments on this website — sexcapades, scandalgates, Sarah Palin interviews — but, honestly, this Eric Massa situation is just getting weirder and weirder, and squirm-inducing-er and squirm-inducing-er, and I'm starting to think that tomorrow Massa will rip off his face and reveal himself to be Conan O'Brien playing a giant stunt, because surely Coco's bored with Twitter by now.
According to Peter Clarke, a Navy shipmate, Massa was notorious for making unwanted advances toward subordinates. He tells the story of his friend Stuart Borsch, with whom Massa shared a hotel room while on leave during the first Gulf War. "Stuart's at the edge of the bed," Clarke says Borsch told him at the time, "and [Massa] starts massaging him. Massa said, 'You'll have to get one of my special massages.' He called them 'Massa Massages.'" Ron Moss, a Navy shipmate and Borsch's roommate, confirmed that Borsch told him this story at the time.
Clarke says that Massa's roommate, Tom Maxfield, was also assaulted. "Tom lived on upper bunk," Clarke say. "When you're on ship, you're almost exhausted 24-7. So a lot of times you sleep with your uniform on. Tom and Massa shared a stateroom together. Massa climbed up on the top of his bunk, which is hard to do–you never crawl up on somebody else's bunk. He wakes up to Massa undoing his pants trying to snorkel him."
No idea what that means. Oh please oh please let "snorkel" be Navy slang for "awaken." Or maybe it's, um, actual snorkeling? They're on a ship, right? In the water? Where people snorkel?
Or not. Augh! Now I know, and there's no unknowing.
You might think that Harry Reid is a ball-less ineffectual Senate Majority Leader, but it's not true. Just look at this: He's promising to change filibuster rules…
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) pledged on Wednesday to take a serious look at revising the filibuster rules at the beginning of the next Congress, calling the current level of obstruction in the Senate unacceptable.
First of all, no you're not, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. This is a nice sentiment, and it's fun to make promises and all, but you and all of everybody in the world knows that "at the beginning of the next Congress," you're going to be cleaning the dead opossums out of your pool in Nevada. Sorry to drop reality on Harry your fantasy camp, but somebody has to be the dick here.
But, hey, what's the harm in pretending. I yield the post to the Senate Majority Leader (for now)…
"The filibuster has been abused. I believe that the Senate should be different than the House and will continue to be different than the House," Reid said. "But we're going to take a look at the filibuster. Next Congress, we're going to take a look at it. We are likely [Ed note: read as "unlikely"] to have to make some changes in it, because the Republicans have abused that just like the spitball was abused in baseball and the four-corner offense was abused in basketball."
Reid's embrace of filibuster reform comes after he previously threw cold water on the likelihood of getting the rules changed. His reference to the "next Congress" stands out. To change Senate rules in the middle of the session requires 67 votes, which Democrats clearly don't have. But changing the rules at the beginning of the 112th Congress will require the chair to declare the Senate is in a new session and can legally draft new rules. That ruling would be made by Vice President Joe Biden, who has spoken out against the current abuse of the filibuster. The ruling can be appealed, but that appeal can be defeated with a simple majority vote.
"A simple majority vote," you say? Hmmmm… I see… I'm sorry, but I am completely unfamiliar with such a concept.
Have you noticed how retro fashion comes back sooner and sooner every decade? The logical conclusion of this observation is that Ronald Reagan will have to squeeze the life out of his mother on live television.
Once again, it's time to take some words and mix up all their letters and then put them back together again to create new words, but in a totally fun and hip way.
Markos Moulitsas — on Countdown with(out) Keith Olbermann last night — responded to Dennis Kucinich's promise to America that he will kill health care reform dead, but in a well-intentioned idealistic way…
"In Congress, Kucinich has authored and co-sponsored legislation to create a national health care system, preserve Social Security, lower the costs of prescription drugs, provide economic development through infrastructure improvements, abolish the death penalty, provide universal prekindergarten to all 3, 4, and 5 year olds, create a Department of Peace, regulate genetically engineered foods, repeal the USA PATRIOT Act, and provide tax relief to working class families."
Notice that the bio never actually says whether any of that legislation actually passed. In fact, according to the web site GovTrack, of the 97 bills Kucinich has sponsored since taking office in 1997, only three have become law. 93 didn't even make it out of committee.
Yeah, but I'll have you know that according to the rules of quantum physics (as I understand them) those 93 bills are doing fantastically well in some alternate universe somewhere.
Here's Janet Porter — of Faith 2 Action and WorldNetDaily — praying, with the audience at Convergence 2010, to the Lord Almighty Jesus Christ that He will see fit in His wisdom and mercy and crush everybody in the media under the theocratic heel of the Christian Right, thus that they may control every aspect of every thing that you and I read, watch and hear.
Amen…
What concerns me the most about the prospect of Porter's prayers ever being granted is what it would for the porn industry. I don't like the idea of conservative Christians controlling the porn that I watch.