Candidate Casting Couch: Superheroes
There's been lots of buzz recently about the upcoming season of NBC's "Heroes." Stories about product placement, overseas marketing, corporate breakdowns between NBC and Apple-sounds like our kind of show! Until we watched it. What a rip: no costumes, no capes, and nary an evil super-villain in sight. Unfulfilled and misunderstood, we retreated to our own Fortress of Solitude (a.k.a. the Olive Garden in Times Square) and geeked out all night (a.k.a. we ate enough bottomless salad to cover the $9.95 menu price), Indecision 2008-style!
Hillary Clinton = She-Hulk
Trained as a lawyer, can kick pretty much any guy's ass, marriage to Man-Wolf was probably a mistake.
Mike Gravel = Wolverine
Intense, outdoorsy misanthrope from the Great White North with little memory of his past — possibly insane.
John McCain = Phoenix
You keep thinking the bitch is gone for good, but, guess what, you're wrong again.
John Edwards = Robin/Nightwing
Kinda just worked better as a sidekick.
Fred Thompson = Onslaught
The payoff totally wasn't worth all the hype.
Joe Biden = Beast
Can't keep his mouth shut, ineffectual leader — has kinda weird hair.
Duncan Hunter = Aquaman
Bottom-dweller.
Bill Richardson = Captain Planet
A good idea in theory, but there's just something lame about him.
Mitt Romney = Metamorpho
Able to change shape at will to suit his current needs.
Barack Obama = Black Lightning
Energetic…?
Rudy Giuliani = The Punisher
Italian American, native-New Yorker, people seem to like pretending he's a hero for some reason.
Al Gore = Galactus
Lurking out there somewhere, feeds off the destruction of the planet to maintain his massive girth.
Ron Paul = Matter-Eater Lad
Getting a lot of internet buzz, but… c'mon.
RSS
Don't you think that has some gay sex merry -go round/spin the bottle uumpa luumpa thing going on?
I would vote for
Kucinich = Animal Man
Spends most of his time talking instead of fighting, is plugged into a greater consciousness, has a hot wife, but only a few geeks have ever heard of him.
Kucinich lovers, bow down before the mighty Rod Paul. The eater of matter
hmmm…Mike Gravel is much nicer character with balls bigger then Stephens (and we know how BIG these are:))))
Bring him ON!!!
Stephen Colbert= Stephen Colbert
Need I say more?
Dennis Kucinich = Mr. Mxyzptlk
Impish, crazy mayor. Keeps popping up; refuses to go away. Never really a threat.
Dennis Kucinich = Captain Cannibis!!!
And he also sports a wife worthy of a centerfold…hell..mabe even a PORN MOVIE!!!!
You left out Ralph Nader-he's the nemesis of both Barack and Hillary. His super-villain name should be the The Splitter.
The real "dream ticket" has been announced: Clinton-Huckabee… http://WWW.CLINTON-HUCKABEE.COM
The Splitter's bio: Once known as the superhero, "Safety Man", the champion for auto and environmental safety, he was turned to the dark-side by Republicans and his enormous wealth from public-speaking engagements and numerous books. His most recent evil acts were to announce his own candidacy(at the 'behest' of the RNC chairman) to split the Republican vote and elect George W. Bush twice into office.