November 21 at 1:49PM
I'm Dreaming of a White Thanksgiving…
There's something off about all these turkeys that George Bush has pardoned from a death sentence during his seven Thanksgivings in office, but we can't quite put our finger on it. Notice anything a little… odd?
Hmmm… Apparently, George Bush doesn't care about brown turkeys.
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He could pardon the turkey…. or Dick Chaney could shoot it. Either way the turkey would live.
After 6 years of disappointment, George finally finds his long lost twin brother.
Bad enough, the 'laying on of hands' routine. The whole bird flu epidemic makes it even worse. What's Thanksgiving coming to?
Trust me. This IS a turkey.
Looks remarkably like a romantic-drama-cum-porn-film.
2001: "I can't touch the turkey. They're disgusting creatures. I'll even look away!"
2002: "Here, you touch him."
2003: "Oh…oh…don't bite! Ohhhhh…"
2004: "Hey you're a cute fella, really, aren't you?…"
2005: "…Yeah, and you're dirty too. I could just ride you…"
2006: "Oh wow. Well you're looking well. How long has it been?!"
2007: "Broom closet, baby. 5 minutes."
It's the same turkey! He just pardons the same one every year. Oh, I see through your ruse little man.
We raped it, then gave it 200 lashes and confined it to Disney world! Even let it ride on my own personal water board (fun, not torture).. Our new friends who have allied with us on the war on terror have shown us the way!
It all seems so fitting, on the day when thousands of (white) illegal immigrants invaded America. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are we sure its not the same turkey every year? All those white turkeys look the same to me.