February 14 at 11:04AM
Today, We Celebrate Our Love For Them
It's Valentine's Day, so you're probably heading over to the Republican National Committee's website, like you always do. There you'll find some Obama and Clinton Valentine's Day cards. Well, we thought they were a little…lacking. So we decided to enter the fold with our own, and cover all of the candidates:
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On a strictly physical note, Barack is about as utt-ugly a guy I've seen running for office in quite awhile. From a mature woman's point of view—he could stand to put on a few LBJ's.
Couldn't you just throw in some Edwards, Thompson, Guiliani, or Romney for posterity?
1. To John McCain I give a vintage ABBA record and sequined jumpsuit.
2. To Ron Paul I give a laminated wallet sized copy of the Constitution. You can never have too many.
3. To Barack Obama I give a highly polished mirror to better reflect his highly polished image.
4. To Mike Huckabee I give a copy of The Beatitudes to remind him of the things Jesus really believed in.
5. To Mike Gravel I raise my hands and block his Evil Eye.
6. To Hilary Clinton I give Mojo.