April 21 at 12:06PM
Campaigning in the World of Warcraft
Update: Old school gamer and author of this post Tony DiGerolamo responds to all the haters.
There's a lot of talk lately about what Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have to do to win in Pennsylvania tomorrow. But take the long view and you realize that with each passing election, using the Internet to get votes becomes more and more crucial overall. Candidates today have to speak not only to the casual web surfer, but also to those for whom the Internet is a lifestyle choice. So, here are some tips for the candidates courting the World of Warcraft vote:
 The Vote |
Obama Onscreen name: GuTwReNcHeR |
Clinton Onscreen name: Blood_Storm |
McCain Onscreen name: Deathstalker49 |
| Druid | Likes: His stance on global warming and Humane Goblin Population Control propsal. Dislikes: Wants to see more Elf advisors in campaign |
Likes: Her support for mercury regulations in factory emissions. Dislikes: Her dominant stance disrupts Feral Combat spells. |
Likes: His badger-like commitment to the Iraq War. Dislikes: Refuse to lower taxes on scimitars. |
| Mage | Likes: His intelligence and commitment to education. Dislikes: His support for H.R. 977, the Fireball Limitation Act. |
Likes: That she made that Bosnia sniper story disappear like magic. Dislikes: That she won't support David Blaine's bid for Senate. |
Likes: His wizened old coot-like visage. Dislikes: That he fired Merlin when he was his intern. |
| Paladin | Likes: The way he wants to save everyone in America from evil. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: Her quest for a national health care plan to heal the sick. Dislikes: Lack of funding for holy grail quests. |
Likes: His War Hero persona. Dislikes: That he takes donations from Neocons and other undead. |
| Priests | Likes: That he continues to support his cleric, Rev. Wright. That he doesn't worship a god that would grant him more powerful spells. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: The goddess-like way she runs her campaign, demanding worship from all. Dislikes: That her campaign advisors secretly met with Nath, Ogre god of war. |
Likes: His magic lute that has the ability to charm Orcs. Dislikes: His inability to tell Al Qaeda from other insurgents and his penchant for screaming into his Internet headset during battle. |
| Rogue | Likes: That his tax proposal will take from the rich. Dislikes: That he doesn't keep the taxes for his guild. |
Likes: Her husband's ability to sneak away with interns unseen. Dislikes: Her support for a law allowing Orcs to marry. |
Likes: The way he ruthlessly back-stabbed his GOP opponents. Dislikes: The way he got back-stabbed by Bush in 2000. |
| Death Knight | Likes: His +7 Axe of Reaving. Dislikes: This thing you humans call "humanity". |
Likes: Her sponsorship of H.R.335, which would extend health-care to undead spouses. Dislikes: That she continues to debate her opponents rather than slay them. |
Likes: His lich-like visage and support for global conquest. Dislikes: His refusal to eat the heart of his enemies. |
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At least get someone that's played WoW to write the article. I usually like election time because I get to see all the Indecision stuff but this is bad….really bad and makes no sense to anyone that actually plays the game.
By the way, scimitars for druids are from Everquest and not WoW. Good job.
At least play the freakin game before writing this stuff.
Of the roughly 3.5 million WoW subscribers in the U.S., about 95% of them could have done a better job with this. Great concept, horribly pathetic execution. This seems you be you making fun of people who play WoW for the amusement of those who don't. As we say, Epic Fail, and L2WoW before publishing another piece of trash like this. I'd even rewrite it for you if I thought there were any point.
As a druid, i am offended by this garbage.
Scimitars are not in the game and I don't have a badger form! Why would my priest want to charm orcs with a "magic lute"??? Why are none of the candidates Horde?
YOU FAIL CC
horrible, i hope you get fired.
why don't you do some research next time.
Holy Grail Quests??? Come on people, you have to be kidding. Do a little research so you dont look quite as bad next time.
Maybe the writer should do a comparrison on how the candidates would look in Hello Kitty Island Online….
Epic fail on the funny. Take 5 seconds and do some research before posting crap you don't understand.
They did accomplish something with this retarded post, they go a lot of views on their site.
We've all been trolled.
It appears to myself and the other WoW players present that Comedy Central has a very weak grasp on the MMO front. What is embarrassing is not the inaccuracy of the content but like most, I thought journalists at least researched their articles before publishing something that though humorous is inaccurate.
We've all been Rick Rolled by Comedy Central