You hoops fans out there may have heard rumors over the weekend that this season's National Basketball Association's MVP award is headed Kobe Bryant's way. If the last two presidential elections have taught us anything, of course, it's not to believe the exit polls. But if it proves to be true, then our foolproof method of predicting election results — birthed in the dark, smoky, testosterone-filled rooms that seem to populate both sports and politics — declares Hillary Clinton our nation's next president.

Read on and discover the brilliant logic behind our bold prediction:

Like Hillary supporters, voters for Kobe clearly believed that he was a Player who was ready to be Most Valuable from Day One. He's basketball's Hillary: a player who may not be liked by everybody, but who possesses undeniable experience and a killer charm (could that guy sell Sprite or what?).

Both Bryant and Clinton know what life at the top is like. Hillary received mail for eight years at ol' 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Kobe has three championships under his waistband and even served as First Lady of sorts to ex-teammate Shaquille O'Neal during Shaq's MVP-winning 2000 season.

Sex scandals? Check! Luckily for the Kobester the courts couldn't prove that his little encounter in Eagle, Colorado was anything other than "consensual," as he claimed, so the mensch only technically committed adultery. Hillary, of course, was on the short end of one of the U.S.'s great adultery sticks (that's a pun, sort of).

And of course, both candidates have recently had to deal with the shame of leaked videos. At the beginning of the season, Kobe engaged in the now-famous parking lot rant in which he dissed his teammate, the young unproven center Andrew Bynum (who proceeded to defy every one of Kobe's criticisms). Hillary had to endure the world finding out about her "exaggerations" about her arrival in Bosnia.

So, with nothing better to base our bet on — today, anyway — we're riding the Kobe/Clinton connection all the way to a prediction for Hillary. But, you may be asking, what if somebody else had won the MVP award? Here's how it would have shaken out:

If Lebron James had won, Barack Obama would have won: Lebron has, since high school, been dubbed the successor to the NBA's throne and been christened with such nicknames as "The Chosen One." Obama similarly exploded on the scene at a time of despair among his party and would have been counted on to lead the nation to change and a renewed sense of hope.

If Kevin Garnett had won, John McCain would have won: KG may not have had a season statistically as impressive as some of the other MVP candidates this year, but he was the best player on the best team and thus deserves to be in the thick of the discussion. Similarly, McCain is the best the GOP has to offer, and since they're coming off a set of back-to-back election wins, you could argue that they're still the team to beat. Plus, McCain would have tried to lead a Celtics-like turnaround in presidential approval ratings.

If Chris Paul had won, Ron Paul would have won: Paul! And Paul! Also, Ron Paul believes strongly in the right to bear arms, and Chris Paul believes in the right to bare hands; he was famously suspended for a punch to Julius Hodge's groin, and his fist seems to have illegally immigrated south of the border in this Bruce Bowen incident as well.

Don't forget to check back with Indecision 2008 often to keep up with our other rash predictions!