May 12 at 3:05PM
Which Candidate Makes the Best Sidekick for Which Dr. Who?
Doctor Who, the English science-fiction TV show that's been around almost as long as King Arthur, has had ten doctors over the years. Like the presidential candidates, each one had a distinct personality, his own way of dealing with things and better teeth than most other English people. Naturally, this made us wonder which candidate would match up best as a sidekick for each version of the Time Lord. Here, then, is another time-wasting chart, specifically designed to enrage scarf nerds that relish this beloved, time-traveling limey:
| Doctor | Candidate Sidekick | Why |
Doctor #1 Actor: William Hartnell Description: That old dude. |
John McCain | McCain's Neocon interventionist foreign policy makes him able to deal with revisionist history traveling through time. |
Doctor #2 Actor: Patrick Troughton Description: Moe Howard's twin. |
Hillary Clinton | She was already married to a stooge. |
Doctor #3 Actor: Jon Pertwee Description: Gandalf with a haircut. |
Barack Obama | Large ears frighten Cybermen. |
Doctor #4 Actor: Tom Baker Description: Guy with long scarf. |
Barack Obama | Much like Baker, he'll be the only person out of this group remembered years from now. |
Doctor #5 Actor: Peter Davison Description: Taller, balding John Denver. |
Hillary Clinton | She becomes an expert at flying the T.A.R.D.I.S. through time while fixing her statements about her NAFTA support. |
Doctor #6 Actor: Colin Baker Description: The one that dressed like a Jo Ann Fabrics exploded on his chest. |
John McCain | McCain's first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period. |
Doctor #7 Actor: Sylvester McCoy Description: The one that sort of looks like Kolchak the Nightstalker. |
Hillary Clinton | Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks. |
Doctor #8 Actor: Paul McGann Description: The awful one from that Fox movie. |
John McCain | Rupert Murdoch makes it so. |
Doctor #9 Actor: Christopher Eccleston Description: The first one not to dress like a tool. |
Barack Obama | Doctor and Barack share "handsome guy tips" with the Elephant Man in Victorian England. |
Doctor #10 Actor: David Tennant Description: The one that banged Sophia Myles. |
Barack Obama | Together, the Doctor and Barack explain to Dr. Who fans what it's like to be with a woman. |
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Admit it, you guys are a bunch of fanboy geeks just like us, or you'd never post an article like this – thank you!
I've got to say Tom Baker/Obama. And not just because each of them will be remembered the best, but because each of them is smarter than the rest. Sort of like time-traveling problem-solvers, making us all comfortable again.
Apparently the show is more popular than one realizes. You understand it which suggests to me you watch it very carefully as do we…Doctor, they frighten me!!
David tennant (The Doctor), John Barrowman (The Captain), and Barack Obama (The Pesident)….Sorry I just slipped into a homoerotic coma….
David tennant (The Doctor), John Barrowman (The Captain), and Barack Obama (The President)….Sorry I just slipped into a homoerotic coma….
(Sorry I left out the R in President)
Mmmmm…Sophia Myles.
Open up a Dalek and you'll see that swollen gland from John McCain's cheek inside.
I feel I should point out that Doctor Who is a British and not strictly English show. It has always been produced by the British Broadcasting Coorperation and right now is produced in Wales and stars a Scot in the lead role. It is a true Brit. It is important to the smaller countries in the United Kingdom that people to not confuse British with English!
said.
I have to say William Hartnell had pretty poor teeth.
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