Guest Editorial: "Democracy in the Time of Smokin' Cheddar BBQ Doritos" by Brigitte Dale
In the past four years, many Americans who never voted before have really gotten into voting. We didn't realize it could be so fun, but ever since voting caught on as a successful marketing strategy, we've been voting all the time.
We voted on American Idol and those Hot-or-Not photos and for the newest flavor of Doritos. Everything is interactive these days and it's a bit of a power trip. We're hooked on the idea of our opinions counting, and there's nothing wrong with that.
No surprise, the media's 2008 election coverage feels eerily similar to a reality TV talent competition. It was hard to avoid… the elimination-style talent shows over-dramatize what really is only entertainment, and now a decision that really is important is trying to hold the viewers' attention by being entertaining. The two situations are like cousins.
So now we're watching these sensationalized election specials and we've been wired to expect talent to come packaged with image and charisma. Although we'd never say it out loud, we also want our president to be someone we think would like us if they knew us. We scrutinize their facial expressions, their gestures, whether or not their hair gets messed up on a windy day. We imagine meeting them away from all the crowds. Would they think we were interesting? Would we make each other laugh?
This desire for a personal connection isn't lost on the campaigners, so candidates are divulging more of their personal lives than ever before to avoid being labeled as "that candidate that won't open up." The more personal they get, the more loyal we become to our favorites. Mix in a few issues that we feel passionate about, and suddenly our support turns genuinely emotional.
At political rallies for each of the candidates, sweaty men and women are going all "fanboy" and "fangirl", screaming and hyperventilating when they get to touch the presidential hopeful's arm. Crowds chant key phrases like they are chanting their high school battle cry. We love it; we miss chanting battle cries. So we print their faces, like mascots, on every surface we can think of to identify which team we're on. It's all building up to voting day.
I like that we're so excited about this. I just hope we're not in love with the idea of being in love, you know?
This is not a rockstar job. The presidency is a job that involves lots of sitting at a desk signing papers in a quiet office, politely listening to presentations, and attending stale social functions. In addition to lots of power, it's also lots of tradition and ceremony, lots of compromise, lots of politics. It's incredibly important and we need someone to do a really good job of it, but you would get bored watching anyone perform this job on a day to day basis. I don't want us to have to ignore that truth in order to get excited about this election.
Early next year, after our new president takes office, inevitably it will happen. Reasons for yelling and getting sweaty in the name of politics will be harder to find and more focused on particular issues, drawing smaller crowds. The thrill of competition gone, our enthusiasm will deflate like a wrinkly old balloon.
Meanwhile our next president will be busy being president every day. And one day, our president will visit some foreign country and be obligated to join in a cultural dance wearing the region's traditional dress. We'll see a brief clip of it on TV.
And no matter who won, no matter who our president is, I promise you that they will look like an absolute tool in that moment. We shouldn't feel disappointed.
Brigitte Dale is an advice columnist and video blogger from Lincoln, Nebraska, who spends her time over-analyzing everything from relationships to global warming. You can read her daily on the Catty Girls Discuss blog, hear her Wednesdays on the Catty Girls Discuss podcast or watch her Fridays on her video blog. She recently won the Yahoo! Video Award for Best Internet Personality of 2008. When she isn't writing or producing short online web shows, she's walking her dog with a coffee in one hand.
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Bravo Brigitte….
PeaCe..!
A major difference is that on American Idol, the votes actually get counted.
One (me) hopes that some day there will be a Constitutional Amendment giving American citizens the right to vote, and to have that vote counted and verified. One hopes that in future we will have found a way to subvert "selection-by-mainstream-media" and the Electoral College, where the actual voting for president takes place. Perhaps a few generations of people accustomed to voting for rock stars and corn chips will insist on presidential elections that aren't rigged from, as they say, Day One.
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South Park said it all in their 2004 election week episode, "Douche and Turd."
When your only choices are between a giant douche or a turd sandwich, does it really matter if your vote counts or not?
As long as "None Of the Above Are Acceptable" isn't a candidate for every public office (thus triggering totally new candidates and elections), only douches and turds will get elected.
Hey, "look at meeeee!!!!", go to brigittedale dot com and look at her pictures. Once you see those, you'll realize that she's not stretching anything, she's just pretty. Nice column, Brigitte.
Brigitte can do whatever she wants, she's the best thing on the Internet and everybody knows it. Just watch her conquer the world.
To "look at me":
Your going to have to back up that claim about stretching the picture. I looked behind the picture; there is no evidence of such.
She's cute!
My Jon would do her.
I'd vote for that!
There's NOTHING behind her that says anything in the photo has been stretched. If you look at all her videos on her site, YouTube, Vimeo and elsewhere, you can plainly and clearly see that she is a slim and trim hot looking woman. What on Earth are you talking about with your screwballery, poophead!!??