Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

Hay Fever! Rarely does a night pass when we former Senate pages don't awake soaked in sweat, terrified about the fate of wealthy racehorse owners and their capital gains taxes. But we shall fret no more, thanks to courageous legislation introduced by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

To quote the Louisville Courier-Journal, McConnell wants "to make uniform the depreciation rate for racehorses at three years." Well it's about time! The good gentleman also wants to introduce a capital gains tax break for the long-suffering owners of said racehorses. Look for him to account for the resulting budget gap by tripling the Insulin tax.

On behalf of Kentucky colonels and Bahraini sultans everywhere, thanks a multi-million, Senator!