There are a lot of rumors flying around about what Hillary Clinton will announce at her concession/non-concession speech tonight. Here are a few that we've heard:

* Hillary will announce the desperate support of renegade superdelegate with nothing left to lose Zane McFortune.

* Hillary will blame her loss on painful canker sore that distracted her.

* Hillary will announce that her relationship with Matthew McConaughey was cooked up to promote their new film, "Booze Cruise"

* Hillary will throw her support behind mysterious, mustachioed candidate "Iillary Dlinton," who will announce his surprise run for the White House at Hillary's New York gala tonight.

* Hillary is the twelfth and final Cylon.

* Hillary will promise to run as Libertarian as long as they change the party name to Hilibertarian

* Hillary will appear on stage with the bike 11-year-old Dalton Hatfield thought he was selling to benefit her campaign — a bike that, unbeknownst to him, was bought up by Harold Ickes, laundered through a disreputable Byelorussian security firm only to be delivered to Clinton herself by the Tunisian mob on the night of her concession, finally allowing her to reveal that the entire purpose underlying her campaign was to steal a kid's bike.

* Hillary will admit defeat

Stay tuned for our liveblog tonight at 8, which we hear will be guest written by Newsweek International Editor Fareed Zakaria with graphics support from the cast of Deep Space Nine.