Marvel Universe: Colbert for President – Possible VP: The Puma?
After Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada announced that Stephen Colbert is still running for president in the Marvel Universe, we decided to follow up by contacting a reporter in that universe for updates on his campaign:
Reservations for a Running Mate?
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter
When it comes to discussing running mates, Stephen Colbert's camp has proven tougher to crack than an adamantium briefcase. That may soon change, however. Over the past several days, wealthy Native American businessman Thomas Fireheart has accompanied the presidential aspirant's visits to Indian soil in New Mexico and South Dakota, respectively.
"I have absolutely no political aspirations whatsoever," the Fireheart Enterprises CEO emphatically told reporters Tuesday after joining Colbert in Kyle, outside the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.
According to Fireheart, the TV populist first contacted him in late February. "He asked me to introduce him to several tribal leaders whom I have befriended over the years," he said. "I appreciated that Mr. Colbert wanted to discuss how his administration could provide adequate funding for Native Americans' health care, education and other programs. So I agreed to help."
Despite Fireheart's claims, Colbert's opponents are already firing accusatory arrows in his direction. Key advocates of Senator Gordon Wright's Third Wing Party noted a recent investigation of Fireheart regarding alleged federal bribery, and have maintained that the Colbert Report host is "associating himself with deceitful capitalists" like Fireheart and S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Anthony Stark. One Wright spokesperson even asserted that Colbert "is looking out for the rich, which ultimately means depriving the poor."
"Those are the words of craven, ignorant people who know only hate," Fireheart contended. "Mr. Colbert does not need my support — which, quite frankly, is probably why he has it."
Enough to join Colbert should he be elected into the White House this November? "Again, I have no interest in a world of donkeys and elephants," the billionaire businessman restated. "I'm a different kind of animal."
For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Secret Invasion #3, on sale today.
This week's images are from Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29.
Previous Colbert easter eggs:
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Yes, that stinks! Your eyes must be such a dark shade of brown.
I understand that one of the prerequisites is to conduct an Interview with Barbara Walters and not cry. You are so mean. That is totally eliminating the female candidates. How sweet of you to be so full of shit.
Excuse #59 I want to be there for the children. I don't want them to go through what I did when my Dad left.
Excuse #17 It's my Stag Party and this is my last chance for romance. My Fiancee said that I can sleep with one more girl before I am to be faithfully committed to her. And I pick YOU!
Excuse #23 I have a higher sex drive than my wife and I have asked her to go to counselling but she said No. (insert puppy dog eyes here)
I have a mental picture. At the Pub, pretty girls, wanting to get some. Excuse #43 :My wife is an invalid and filthy rich. I can never divorce her because she supports me and takes very good care of me. But I haven't gotten any from her in years. So what you say?
Let me at him! Let me at him! Grrrrrrr! Growl! No one makes fun of My Stephen! Get some courage and say what it is that you really want to say Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter, if that is your real name.
More like this plush toy that I found on the Toys R Us Site:
23. TAGGIES Toss the Ball
Our Price: $16.99
Top Registry Items! **
'Cause it would be bad parenting if you let your children play with a hot potatoe.
A "different kind of animal" eh? Might it be something along the lines of the platypus-can't decide which species you belong to?