…You Might Be a Muslim
Barack Obama has launched a website called Fight the Smears, in which he strikes back against the negative jabs that get thrown his way. The site includes a section refuting the rumor that Obama is a Muslim. Counter-refutations have started to surface, including this handy guide we found in the bathroom at Swifty's Swiftboatery Inn and Swiftboatorium:
* If you greet your wife fist-to-fist instead of open palm-to-open palm, you might be a Muslim.
* If you want to turn the USA into a terrorist paradise with universal terrorist healthcare and college tuition credits for every terrorist, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have ever not punched a gay person you totally could have punched, you might be a Muslim.
* If you lob inspiring platitudes like hand grenades, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have talked to a Muslim, you might be a Muslim.
* If young people aren't immediately revulsed by your craggy, translucent skin and creepy old man giggle, you might be a Muslim.
* If you go to a Christian church that has a crazy pastor, you might be a Muslim.
* If you're black and running for president, you might be a Muslim.
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You believe in subtle tactics to destroy an individual instead of straightforward intellectual debate, because your way is evil- You must be a Muslim
If you're a football manager, you might be a muslin.
If you are a Scientologist- You secretly might be a Muslim
If you love racing horses and camels, you might be a Muslim.
If you have brown eyes and a Muslim name, you might be a muslim
If your disagreement with a rabbi caused you to declare a Jihad on the synagogue, you might be a Muslim.
If you have a wife named Michelle, you might be a Muslim
If you lived in a place outside my shoebox-size realm of knowledge, you might be a Muslim.
if you make fun of people that say some one is a really a secret muslim, you might be a muslim
If you are a breakfast cereal made with oats, yogurt, and fresh fruit – you may be a muslix.