…You Might Be a Muslim
Barack Obama has launched a website called Fight the Smears, in which he strikes back against the negative jabs that get thrown his way. The site includes a section refuting the rumor that Obama is a Muslim. Counter-refutations have started to surface, including this handy guide we found in the bathroom at Swifty's Swiftboatery Inn and Swiftboatorium:
* If you greet your wife fist-to-fist instead of open palm-to-open palm, you might be a Muslim.
* If you want to turn the USA into a terrorist paradise with universal terrorist healthcare and college tuition credits for every terrorist, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have ever not punched a gay person you totally could have punched, you might be a Muslim.
* If you lob inspiring platitudes like hand grenades, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have talked to a Muslim, you might be a Muslim.
* If young people aren't immediately revulsed by your craggy, translucent skin and creepy old man giggle, you might be a Muslim.
* If you go to a Christian church that has a crazy pastor, you might be a Muslim.
* If you're black and running for president, you might be a Muslim.
RSS
If ya aint gonna go to my church, I reckon ya might be one of them Muslims, tell you what.
If you're going to crush McCain in November, you're a muslim.
If you're white with an adorable flower pattern you're … sorry, that's Muslin.
If you get mad at Danish comics, you might be a Muslim.
If you like camping in the desert highlands and playing war games, you might be a Muslim.
If you've got shares of stock in a Chinese oil company, you might be a Muslim.
If you're with Homeland Security, don't know much about fabrics, are a bad speller, and use Wikipedia, but can't admit as much, you might detain a Serbian football manager.
If you're blogging American news, you might be a Muslim.
You tell a bunch of fellowship Christians that you had obligations to go elsewhere but your husband wanted you with him- You must be Muslim.
If you're a black Latte-sipping Volvo-driving Liberal elitist, you might be a Muslim.