…You Might Be a Muslim
Barack Obama has launched a website called Fight the Smears, in which he strikes back against the negative jabs that get thrown his way. The site includes a section refuting the rumor that Obama is a Muslim. Counter-refutations have started to surface, including this handy guide we found in the bathroom at Swifty's Swiftboatery Inn and Swiftboatorium:
* If you greet your wife fist-to-fist instead of open palm-to-open palm, you might be a Muslim.
* If you want to turn the USA into a terrorist paradise with universal terrorist healthcare and college tuition credits for every terrorist, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have ever not punched a gay person you totally could have punched, you might be a Muslim.
* If you lob inspiring platitudes like hand grenades, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have talked to a Muslim, you might be a Muslim.
* If young people aren't immediately revulsed by your craggy, translucent skin and creepy old man giggle, you might be a Muslim.
* If you go to a Christian church that has a crazy pastor, you might be a Muslim.
* If you're black and running for president, you might be a Muslim.
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Silly girl. I thought I showed you the video?
They were cute!
You filthy little whore.
I am not a virgin! And that is all you need to know.
One thing I did learn. If you are married brown man and you want a white chick- you must be a muslim.
"I am not a virgin!" will get you stoned by a Muslim.
By rocks, not by bongs.
I rather they throw things at me than throw themselves at me. They're creepy.
Dude. No rocks around the bong. Take that shit outside.
I'm not a dude. I'm a dude-ette.