This, friends, this is what makes America the great country that it is…

The military trainers who came to Guantanamo Bay in December 2002 based an entire interrogation class on a chart showing the effects of "coercive management techniques" for possible use on prisoners, including "sleep deprivation," "prolonged constraint," and "exposure."

What the trainers did not say, and may not have known, was that their chart had been copied verbatim from a 1957 Air Force study of Chinese Communist techniques used during the Korean War to obtain confessions, many of them false, from American prisoners.

The recycled chart is the latest and most vivid evidence of the way Communist interrogation methods that the United States long described as torture became the basis for interrogations both by the military at the base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and by the Central Intelligence Agency.

We take something warped, inhuman and depraved from a godless, authoritarian country like Communist China with no moral values, and we turn it into something beautiful and patriotic like apple pie, baseball or military imperialism.

Through American know-how and gee whiz gumption, we took disgusting torture techniques like "sleep deprivation," "prolonged constraint," and "exposure," and turned them into interrogation techniques like "freedom wakefulness," "liberty cramping" and "exposure to how bitchin' America is, motherfucker."

Let the mighty eagle soar.