Blo & Go, That Is the Tempo
Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!
Quickly: What has copious amounts of hair, the love and affection of a U.S. Senator, and recent heavy coverage in The Washington Post? If you said Roger Clemens' butt, shame on you! The answer is former runway model Laurie Coleman, wife of Senator Norm (R-MN)!
Coleman, who is already being called the Thomas Edison of late June 2008, is the inventor of the gloriously named Blo & Go, which is an apparatus that holds one's hairdryer in place, freeing the hands to style hair and accept illegal gifts from lobbyists. As Mrs. Coleman tells it, the Blo & Go satisfies her need for "something of great quality that was really going to stay up." Jealous, Senator?
But if the Colemans are to sell enough Blo & Go's to get Norm out his dank apartment in a GOP goon's basement, they're going to need to start recording sales with some of Washington's elite politicians. Mrs. Coleman, if you're reading this, here are some public servants that the Pages believe would eagerly purchase a product with the name "Blo & Go":
* Sen. John Edwards (D-NC): Edwards collects hair-care appliances like ex-Rep. "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA) collects jail sentences, and at $29.99 apiece, he can afford 13 Blo & Go's under his current hair budget.
* George W. Bush: A name like "Blo & Go" permits Bush to primp for warmongering news conferences while simultaneously reminiscing on how he spent the 1970's.
* Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND). Dorgan sees a highly public purchase of the Blo & Go as his chance to convince constituents that the cheap rug he wears is actually his hair.
* Bill Clinton: The former president may better relate to the product if the word "Go" is replaced with "Discuss the Bosnian Civil War with a Member of Congress."
* Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID). It's fortunate that Coleman doesn't offer refunds, because Craig is going to mistake this product for an airport concierge service.
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[...] also unanimously agreed that America's top priority should be outfitting its citizens with wall-mounted blowdryer stands so that they can style their hair with both hands at once– thus exposing that the [...]
[...] But Coleman, too, sees benefit from the Internet. He just asks that Minnesotans kindly skip over his timeline of obstruction and focus on more positive things, such making online donations to his legal fund or placing orders for his wife's chintzy hair care products. [...]
when republicans talk about blow they are referring to hairdrying, when dems talk about blow they mean oval office sex (clinton) or cocaine use (obama's own biography)
Clinton and Craig are priceless! I wish Norm Coleman were running against a better SNL comedian than Al Franken. Steve Martin perhaps. Or Alec Baldwin. I know those guys only hosted SNL, and weren't cast members, but I don't know if Stuart Smalley can really beat Coleman.
Looks like you boys have a hater. Bizarre. Anyway I think you could add Monica Crowley to the list. Her hair is probably the only reason she gets to be on television.
Dang it all! Yall answered your own question, closing the door yet AGAIN on something that might have been humorous. Kill joys. My guess would've been Dylan and Ethan Ris.