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July 11 at 3:35PM

Catching Up With A Loser: Bill Richardson

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

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Catching Up With A Loser! In our rush last week to profile failed presidential contender Duncan Hunter, we passed over the highly forgettable candidacy of Gov. Bill Richardson (D-NM) who dropped out on January 10, beating Hunter by more than two weeks in the loser-stakes!

From Day One, Richardson made it clear that he was not your average presidential contender. Among other things, he was:

* The first serious candidate to strongly resemble the Incredible Hulk.

* Experienced as a governor, congressman, ambassador, cabinet secretary, and critically acclaimed YouTube actor.

* Latino, and therefore able to converse with outgoing president George W. Bush in terrible, broken Spanish.

* Able to withstand the wrath of lesbian rocker Melissa Etheridge when stating that her homosexuality was a choice.

* The only candidate to perpetuate a flagrant lie about being a Major League Baseball player.

Yeah, about that last one… It turns out that while Richardson did play professional baseball (in the Cape Cod League), he misspoke ever so slightly when he repeatedly claimed in various speeches and biographies that he had been drafted by the Kansas City Athletics. After his lie was exposed, Richardson tackled the media firestorm like a 3 AM phone call, explaining:

"After being notified of the situation and after researching the matter… I came to the conclusion that I was not drafted by the A's."

Thanks for clearing that up, Governor! We hope you can share some of your research skills with fellow non-draftee Fidel Castro!

Richardson's presidential campaign enjoyed roughly the same success as his baseball career. Despite support from the powerful pro-cockfighting wing of the Democratic Party, he placed a dismal fourth in both the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries, leading pundits to name him "The Ernest 'Fritz' Hollings of 2008." (Or, in the case of James Carville, "The Judas Iscariot of 2008.")

For now Richardson remains the Governor of New Mexico, but the state's lackluster economy may inspire the voters to place him on waivers, at which point Richardson hopes he'll be picked up by the increasingly desperate Washington Nationals!

  1. [...] of duty.  Any time you're told you resemble Frankenstein (John Kerry), the Incredible Hulk (Bill Richardson) or a pig (Sarah Palin), it has to dent even the most bloated of [...]

    by Larry Craig Compared to a Gay Celebrity Penguin » THE EARMARK July 17th at 2:23PM
  2. Bill Clinton was a compulsive liar and the voters seemed to have no problem giving him 2 terms. But he was a smooth talker and Richardson is not even close. That's why he won't be VP either. Obama/Hagel '08!

    by Little Nicky July 12th at 12:43PM
  3. Poor Governor Richardson – he's a serial fabulist whose ruined his credibility by what seems to be a compulsive liar's disorder. From his decades long baseball boast to his misrpresentations about his record on Yucca Mountain to the insulting story that he fabricated about the grieving mother of Marine hero Aaron Austin – his political career is not without its blemishes.

    peace

    by peace voter July 11th at 9:53PM
  4. I think its sad that Richardson felt the need to lie about being drafted for baseball, especially since someone of his stature should not feel insecure …..

    by mama4bama July 11th at 6:51PM
  5. I know people who voted for Edwards, Biden, Dodd and Kucinich. But not him. He's like the guy everyone considered but no one actually picked.

    by Brian July 11th at 4:36PM

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