John McCain Withholds Hilarious Joke, Still Can't Find Internet
Over the weekend, the New York Times ran a profile of war hero John McCain, the kind of thing they like to call a "wide-ranging interview."
Basically they asked him a lot of questions, and he answered most of them them, mostly without yelling, and we learned that…
* John McCain likes to pretend he's Teddy Roosevelt, except without the whole big-game hunting thing;
* John McCain is "flatly opposed" to allowing gay parents to adopt, because "both parents are important in the success of a family" (and think of all the shrinks who'll go out of business if kids don't grow up with mom issues or a daddy complex); and
* John McCain goes to church but "not as often as [he] should," which may be why he "has said" he believes in evolution.
Then John McCain sent a special shout-out to bloggers like yours truly!
When asked if he felt that it was more difficult to run against Mr. Obama because of the sensitivities of race, Mr. McCain responded wryly: "I'd like to make a joke, but I can't."
"We are in a situation today where all words are parsed, all comments are diagnosed and looked at for whatever effect they might have," he said. "We have to feed the beast, the hourly cable shows, the instant news in the blogs and all that. That is just the situation that we're in, and I'm not complaining about it, because that would be both foolish and a waste of time."
BEAST HUNGRY. TELL BEAST OBAMA JOKE.
[McCain] said, ruefully, that he had not mastered how to use the Internet and relied on his wife and aides like Mark Salter, a senior adviser, and Brooke Buchanan, his press secretary, to get him online to read newspapers (though he prefers reading those the old-fashioned way) and political Web sites and blogs.
"They go on for me," he said. "I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don't expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need."
Mmmm. Beast satisfied with cranky man underscoring his own obsolescence. Beast diagnoses comment: John McCain is an old who is so out of touch he does not even know what Tumblr is. This comment's primary effect will be a few LOLs.
Note to any war heroes reading a printout of this: it stands for "land of Lincoln."
p.s. Please type out and mail your Obama joke to me, or send via carrier pigeon. I'm still feeling a bit snacky.
RSS
yeah everybodys speaking up about mcain and the internet and what-not.he might read the paper instead of online publications have secretaries doing his typing but john mccain said he does know what the internet is!he said he saw it on the inside of his swim trunks.he also said we needed to send ships out to defend our usb ports!
shreya,
The author has a link to the word "carrier pigeon" as well. Is he saying that Americans who made it through middle school may not know what carrier pigeons are as well?
this article was dumb. Not being attached to a blackberry or not caring much for the internet is not a crime. I just spend two weeks with no internet and I lived to write about it. If McCain did not how to read or write than we would have a major problem on our hand. As we stand now he prefers to read the paper offline instead of on. He won't be blogging as president (at least I hope not) so it doesn't matter if he doesn't how to use emoticons and other internet references which most people find very annoying by the way.
McCain has been an absentee parent his whole life ! (see Cindy's interview on Leno).
McCain knows a lot of useful shit that Obama probably doesn't. What Obama needs to call in an air strike and the only means of communication is a hand crank telephone?
coolrepublica
if he was assuming that everyone knows what Tumblr is, then he wouldn't have had a link to it, moron.
well-known internet references (such as LOL) do NOT have links explaining them, because he assumes we know what they mean. imagine that…
therefore, i'm pretty sure he said that in jest. good job.
I went to the Tumblr site and still have no idea what it is, but I get the point: McSame is old and boring and out of touch.
I'm in my 30's and think of myself as tech savy and I did not know what a tumblr was until I clicked on the link. So me say that you who wrote article is so arrogant that you think that unless someone is up to date on every new gadget that comes out every hour that person is stupid. Forget McCain and look in the mirror of stupidity me say.