Enquiring Minds Want to Catch John Edwards and His Secret Love Child
Hey, did'ja hear the one about the former hopeful presidential nominee and prospective vice-presidential candidate who got caught having an alleged secret rendezvous with the mother of his alleged illegitimate child?
No?
Well, maybe you don't read The National Enquirer quite enough…
A team of Enquirer reporters caught [John Edwards] visiting his mistress and secret love child late Monday night at the Beverly Hilton hotel in Los Angeles hotel…
Said [Enquirer reporter Alan] Butterfield: "The car had a baby seat in the back for Rielle [Hunter]'s infant. He pulled into the parking lot, took a ticket from the automated machine, pulled forward, and stopped right after the parking gate lowered. Edwards got out of the passenger side, walked around the front of the car and went in a side entrance near the swimming pool.
"McGovern parked the car and then slowly walked back inside the hotel and went upstairs"…
We can now reveal that the man who drove Edwards was Bob McGovern, the same man who drove Rielle to the hotel from Santa Barbara and rented her room in his name.
This would be pretty damning evidence if The National Enquirer were called The New York Times, or even The Los Angeles Times.
On the other hand, this is a smut story, and that's where The Enquirer shines. They were the first people on the scene for Bill Clinton's cigar shenanigans with Monica Lewinsky and their scum-bagginess did uncover some key details in the O.J. Simpson debacle.
So, who knows…
Edwards' advisers are "spitting mad and furious" that his late-night escapades have made international headlines because it could derail his chances of becoming Barack Obama's running mate.
Ya think?
More on this as disgusting allegations and half-cocked speculations emerge.
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"This would be pretty damning evidence if The National Enquirer were called The New York Times, or even The Los Angeles Times."
Good point!
"Did Edwards share a bed with another woman and give birth to an alien robot?" I want to know. It's for people with enquiring minds. Like me.
"They were the first people on the scene for Bill Clinton's cigar shenanigans with Monica Lewinsky and their scum-bagginess did uncover some key details in the O.J. Simpson debacle."
…hmmm, if I recall – turns out Clinton did exactly what he was accused of doing and with O.J. – I think we all know that he guilty. (And found so in the civil trial).
So, just because it's the Enquirer, doesn't mean this story is untrue.
If CNN gives National Enquirer the credit for the scoop on Presidential pardons, then they've GOT to be good! They don't hand out kudos to every grocery store rag…
Nah, the father is Janet Reno. Why? Because the baby looks like John McCain (but with more hair).
Another white male politician who can't keep Mr. Happy in his pants.