Sen. Ted Stevens, the longest-serving Republican Senator was indicted Tuesday on seven counts of failing to disclose services he received from VECO Corp., a powerful oil services contractor, making him the first sitting senator to be indicted on federal charges since 1993.

Prosecutors said, the 84-year-old senator concealed "his continuing receipt of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of things of value from [the] private corporation."

While the allegations against Stevens are certainly damming, it should be remembered that the charges concern items that an 84 year old Alaskan would consider "things of value." A peek at the indictment indicates some of the gifts to be…

* A Caribou-lined Viagara carrying case

* An autographed head shot of actor Rob Morrow

* An Innuit-carved chalice suitable for drinking unicorn's blood

* A bridge that actually leads somewhere worth going

* A trained yeti to keep kids off his lawn

* Snow dollars