As you know, famous people who share birthdays always celebrate those birthdays together. With that in mind, we take you now to Senator Barack Obama's birthday festivities:

[Scene: a press conference]

Helen Thomas: Senator Obama, why has your campaign accepted the Republican frame that the drilling issue is about lowering gas prices instead of facing reality and acknowledging that what we're dealing with here is yet another giant land grab by the major U.S. oil companies?

Barack Obama: Oh, come on Helen, loosen up. It's time for our birthday party!

[Cut to: the drawing room, filled with people who were born on August 4th, making small talk. The soulful yet melancholy trumpeting of Louis Armstrong is heard in the distance. Obama and Thomas enter]

Helen Thomas: Nice turnout! It's good to see Wesley Snipes out and about.

Pieter Coecke van Aelst: Hello, the late Queen Mum!

Queen Mother: Hello, Pieter Coecke van Aelst! Are you enjoying the Flemish summer? And how is your painting/carpet design work going?

Pieter Coecke van Aelst: Splendidly. By the by, when did you die?

Queen Mother: 2002. And you?

Pieter Coecke van Aelst: 1554. Ah, Roger Clemens, I must tell you, your fastball is most impressive!

Helen Thomas: Yes, you certainly bring the heat.

Richard Belzer: Check, please!

Roger Clemens: Thank you very much. If there are three things I love in life, they are steroids, my August 4th birthday and playing baseball.

Patrick Ewing: Did somebody say basketball?

Roger Clemens: Get out of here, Patrick Ewing, your birthday is not until August 5th!

Queen Mum: The Knicks were a better team without you, Patrick Ewing!

Roger Clemens: Yeah, totally! Hit the road!

[Clemens escorts Ewing out]

Yasser Arafat: Whew! Sorry about that. I don't know how he got in here. Would anyone like a canapé?

Barack Obama: Hey, Arafat, could you take it over to the East Wing? It's not good for me to be seen with you.

Richard Belzer: He's dead, babe.

Barack Obama: Even if.

[Ohio Governor Ted Strickland enters]

Ted Strickland: Konnichiwa bitches!

Everybody: GOVERNOR TED STRICKLAND! Now the party can REALLY start! Woo!

[Blackout]