Republican Senator Tom Coburn from Oklahoma is more wound up than a Tulsa twister about the United States' participation in last week's international AIDS conference in Mexico City.

Apparently, the conservative senator considers it a huge waste of taxpayer's dollars to send delegates to such conferences…

Mr. Coburn has been critical of federal funding of past AIDS conferences. In 2006, he questioned whether the federal government was acting prudently in spending "millions of dollars" on several AIDS conferences that year.

The 2008 AIDS conference, which ends Friday, has attracted more than 22,000 participants worldwide. This is the first time the biennial event has been held in Latin America.

The Senator knew that there was no point in attending the conference, since he had already discovered the way to end AIDS once and for all! Coburn, you see, was the author of the "HIV Prevention Act of 1997."

The bill (which failed miserably, of course) would have made all AIDS test results public knowledge and forced the government to contact individually the potential sexual partners of any person who tested positive for HIV. Do we really need a bunch of Mexicans in lab coats telling us that that's just a common sense health policy?

And, besides, Coburn has already discovered how AIDS is spread: by lesbian teenagers in Oklahoma having sex in school bathrooms.

That's right, "scientists." You're one step behind Tom Coburn, the smartest man on earth.