August 15 at 11:47AM
Obama Veepstakes: Official Vegas Betting Odds
Two weeks ago, we gave you our Official Vegas Odds on potential running mates for John McCain, and darn if that didn't send shock waves through his campaign! It is now our pleasure to extend the same service to Barack Obama gamblers:
| Name | Why (S)he'll Get It | Why (S)he Won't | Odds |
| Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana
|
Pushed by concerned Indiana officials who are trying to bump Dan Quayle from the top of their "Famous Residents" list. | In the wake of the John Edwards scandal, it's getting increasingly difficult to trust any handsome, well-coiffed Democrat. | 3 to 1 |
| Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware
|
Nominating Biden will possibly placate the zero delegates he'll be sending to the convention. | Debatable whether the way to win over voters is to bore them to death. | π to 1. |
| Gov. Tim Kaine of Virginia
|
Kaine could deliver a state that hasn't swung Democratic since Strom Thurmond was a member of the party. | Mark Warner will give the convention's keynote address, thus exhausting the party's quota for Harvard-trained, beauty-deprived Virginia governors who are actually from the Midwest. | 7.5 to 3 |
| Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas
|
Nominating her is a way to get a woman on the ticket without resorting to You Know Who. | Okay, we saw that voters may be ready to elect a female president, but vice president? Slow down, ladies! | 409 to 1 |
| Former Sen. Sam Nunn of Georgia
|
This elder statesman's military background appeals to hawks who thought Wesley Clark was too much of a sissy to get the nod. | Unclear if he is still alive. | 1812 to 1 |
| Vice President Dick Cheney
|
Cheney has extensive experience serving as [classified], and he will [classified] in the event of [classified]. | There's no chance he's leaving office, so this category is moot. | 666 to 1 |
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Now whom will the GOP send against Biden ?
Pawlenty the Apostate or Romney the Robot ?
My preferences:
1. Clinton
2. Ed. Rendell
3. Biden
Nice A.R. Manga. We can thank Dick Cavett for that Spiro Agnew anagram.
Based on the Spiro Agnew Anagram Predictor (SAAP), I have to like Sam Nunn's chances. After all, he's a NUN'S MAN. Tim Kaine isn't going anywhere wearing A MINK TIE (unless he peaks just in the NIK A TIME). Mr. O, please stay far away from Joe Biden (I END JOB), but you may want to consider Kathleen Sebelius' first stab at a transportation policy–I'LL SEEK BUS ETHANE. At least Evan Bayh know's where he stands on America's obesity epidemic–BAN HEAVY! But the question lingers, "Who will shake/spear the mighty MARACA KABOB?"
Note: Spiro Agnew=GROW A PENIS. A subtle jab at tricky Dick?
Kaine looks like my old wrestling coach.
if this is the best the dems can do, they might as well give up.
bayh- too liberal and your right that he looks like edwards.
biden- he embarassed himself when he questioned clarence thomas. look who won there.
kaine- tell me you are joking. virgina is george allen country!
sibileus- she's no margaret thatcher.
nunn- spineless. changed his position on don't ask don't tell.
cheney- haha. i like this. too bad you are joking.