Governor Tim Kaine's Freakish Eyebrow Will Take Down the Democratic Party
Time to cross Virginia's Democratic Governor Tim Kaine off the short list for Barack Obama's running mate.
The man has no chance of being elected to the second-highest office in the Free World because — and this is so obvious I almost feel foolish reporting it — his left eyebrow is inadequate.
According to Roll Call, the newspaper of Capitol Hill…
Kaine's brows — arched, wiggly and what most people remember from the Democrat's rebuttal to the State of the Union speech in 2006 — have become one of the chief objections from some pundits to Kaine taking a spot on the Democratic ticket.
News media in Kaine's home state couldn't agree more. The Hampton Roads Daily Press has published its "Top 10 Reasons Not To Choose Kaine," and topping the list — ahead of minimal name recognition and lack of foreign policy experience — was The Eyebrow.
While this news illuminates the obvious point that Tim Kaine must no longer be allowed around children — much less the White House — it raises problems for Obama as he searches for a running mate without a grotesque deformity.
Whether it's Bill Richardson and his creepy goatee or Hillary Clinton and her second X chromosome, most of Obama's VP options possess physical quirks even more distracting than the Senator's own ears.
This is not to say that John McCain has it much easier. Anyone taken a close look at Joe Lieberman's jowls recently?




[...] for "name-calling" in this regard, but did comment on Tim Kaine having a "freakish eyebrow." Like Michael Jackson avoiding his father's punches, Steele moonwalked away from [...]
You had to go and mention the Lieberman jowls, did you? Now I have to take a shower.
I've heard of stupid reasons not to nominate someone, but this takes the cake. The eyebrow-shaped cake, true, but still, kinda dumb. Especially since 10-2 were more than enough to make him a no-go.
Um, also it looks like he cuts his hair with a weedwhacker.
Kaine knows The People's Eyebrow?