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August 19 at 5:18PM

More Republicans Busy Washing Their Hair During RNC

POSTED BY: Dylan Ris

Call it mob mentality. Kansas Sen. Pat Roberts has joined the list of Republicans skipping their party's convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul on account of a tight re-election campaign.

Roberts is the sixth big name Republican to dis John McCain on his special night, thus making this a full-blown trend -– one that threatens to become as popular as taking money from Jack Abramoff was in 2004!

Here's a rundown of who's ducked out so far…

Kansas Sen. Pat Roberts
Wound up campaigning in the wrong Minneapolis this past week.

Maine Sen. Susan Collins
Will be hosting a talk radio gossip show on the topic of John Edwards's alleged illegitimate daughter.

Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith
Given that he's now running desperate TV ads featuring Barack Obama and John Kerry, he may try to sneak into the Democratic convention instead.

Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens
Hedging his bets that he'll already be in jail by then.

North Carolina Sen. Elizabeth Dole
Still bitter when it comes to the topic of presidential nominations.

Vice President Dick Cheney
Numerous daytime events and possible exposure to garlic in the catering spreads make the convention a mortal danger for him.

That's six prominent Republicans down and there's still two weeks 'til the convention. I just hope Joe Lieberman has a lot of material prepared.

  1. The real reason Susan Collins won't be there is that she's too dumb to find Minnesota on a map.

    by Little Stevie August 20th at 1:11PM
  2. nah, Brownback's too busy babysitting his amazing talking embryos: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=114172&title=Headlines—War-on-Terrorble-Diseases

    by iowagradstudent August 19th at 9:47PM
  3. I hear that Sen. Sam Brownback won't be there because he's getting Raptured next week.

    by chirpchirp August 19th at 9:04PM
  4. I like to think of them as lost in internet tubes.

    by bearness August 19th at 6:17PM

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