August 21 at 11:06AM
Democrats Preparing to Flaunt the Agony of Defeat
Roll Call recently broke the exciting news that three new speakers have been added to the lineup for the Democratic National Convention in Denver next week… and they are all phenomenal losers!
Jimmy Carter, John Kerry, and Tom Daschle have all been awarded prime-time speaking slots during the convention, despite the stench of defeat that surrounds them.
Here's a little bit about each one, and how each has contributed to the familiar heartbreak of millions of Democratics over the years…
| Loser | How He Lost |
| Former President Jimmy Carter Loser of the 1980 presidential election. |
Was no match for Ronald Reagan's stunning intellect and feats of strength. |
| Former Senator Tom Daschle Loser of the 2004 South Dakota Senate race. |
Despite his prominent role as Senate Minority Leader, failed to bring a Major League Baseball franchise to Sioux Falls. |
| Senator John Kerry Loser of the 2004 Presidential Race |
His decision to pick John Edwards as his running mate disgusted values voters who had a feeling that something bad was going to be revealed roughly four years down the road. |
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carter lost because he failed miserably to take down communism, feminism and failure of big government. he let a handful of unpatriotic arabs take us for a ride with a fake oil shortage and we're paying the price today. thank your creator for ronald reagan. if it wasn't for him everything on here would be printed in russian.
Oh is thaaaaaat why Kerry lost?! I was confused in 2004– I thought it was because he was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very boring and difficult to follow. And that GW has some sort of strange mind-control powers. Only explainations I've got anyway!