Catching Up With a Loser: Mitt Romney
Get ready to meet the wealthiest member of our chronologically ordered Presidential Loser Series…former one-term Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney!
Romney's record as a Republican governor of a blue state and his rock-solid hair gave him major corporate cred as a candidate. But Romney faced unfair criticism from those who disapproved of his Mormon faith, a historically off-limits topic. He countered this by giving voters a great number of legitimate things to hate him for, including:
* Amassing a vast personal fortune by closing factories and laying off workers as CEO of Bain Capital.
* Disparaging Massachusetts — whose voters gave him his only job in politics — like a red-headed stepchild.
* Incorrectly predicting same-sex marriage would result in the collapse of America as a world power.
* Proposing that America double the size of Guantanamo Bay prison, while simultaneously expressing his hope that its inmates never receive access to lawyers.
* Relentlessly pimping a family so white, it would make Norman Rockwell squint.
Romney financed his ego trip campaign with 42.3 million dollars he found lying in a sock drawer, and in return he amassed a cool 271 delegates. This was 920 short of what he needed for the nomination, but to be fair it was 271 times what Rudy Giuliani got.
Romney endured through the primary season for as long as he could, knowing that defeat would mean a return to his dreaded Massachusetts. That said, he only lasted until February 7, two days after Super Tuesday.
As of press time, Romney is serving as John McCain's attack dog, and is said to be high on the list of potential running mates for the Republican nominee. Should he be passed over, look for Bain Capital to purchase the U.S. Government, lay off its workers, and sell it at a profit to Dubai.
RSS
Yeah, he's such a loser, lol. Sounds like you're jealous that you are not as accomplished.
Loser as a candidate for president, not a loser in business at all! Nor in the afterlife: as a Mormon, he stands to inherit a planet and become a God. Compared to that, leader of the free world is nothing.
The guy's fucking name is Mitt. Who the Hell names their kid Mitt? That alone makes him a loser. By definition he's a loser because uh… he lost to McCain. Making him, a LOSER. That he lost with so much money makes him an even bigger, fathead, stone-haired and jawed, shitty loser. You think he knows about money? The dude from Monopoly just whipped his ass with nothing. He left Mass. health care in shambles and is basically banned from crossing state lines. He got booed at Fenway and cheered at Yankee Stadium. Yup, maybe he can have a gang-bang with his Sister-Wives and shit but, he's a sinner who's going to Hell.
Romney has the soul of a bean counting Nazi, it's hard to conjure up a sleazier nexus of politics and business than he represents.
The worst of predatory captitalism is paraded around as business acumen. Flip Flopping shifts with political winds are ignored like
Grandma's farts at Thanksgiving dinner.
I'd pay good money to see Jimmy Hoffa (in his prime) take a meat cleaver to those iconic looks and give him a little character.
One thing I do know is he has a history of getting what he wants, and as long as he wants a better financial future for this country (because lets be honest, he could make more money in the private sector) I'm on board. All politicians have their flaws, but at least he doesn't hide what he wants in the end. Oh and I met his wife. Nicest lady who doesn't put up with crap. I respect that.
Lets face it, most people are jealous of Mitt and his accomplishments.
1. He graduated near the top of his class at Harvard in the MBA and Law program.
2. He has been successful in business.
3. He was successful in fixing the Olympics.
4. He closed the debt when he was the govenor.
5. He came up with a clever health plan to reduce the uninsured, which in turn reduced the number of people crowding the ER because they didn't have insurance.
6. He has been successful as a father. All of his sons have been supportive of his campaign.
7. He has been faithful to his wife. How many politicians do you know that married their high school sweethart and are still married?
Mitt Romney fixed the Olympics!?! I knew those little Chinese baby gymnasts had a sugar daddy!
Tip
John S, when you say he fixed the Olympics, do you mean that in the good way of reforming it, or the bad way of influencing the outcome by illegal means?
I don't know…I think you got it wrong, the one with the big "L" on his forehead is the ignoramous Huckabee. Huckabee the Joker. Mitt would be an asset.
as mass. governor, he spent summers laying around his lake house in nh.
of course, there were photo ops to get one's hair pomaded for.
I guess some doofuses were out on the lake in a leaky boat. Mitt and
his little mittlets paddled out and gave them a ride to shore.
so here's the newscaster "blah blah…romney insists it was no big deal. he'll be holding a press conference at 3:00." Look up "dink" in the dictionary: you'll find
his smarmy picture.