If you're staying in any of the random weed hotels that have sprung up along Colorado Boulevard on the outskirts of Denver proper, getting into the main city is a total snap, thanks to the helpful police and all the roads that have been blocked off for security reasons.

All you have to do is drive along Colorado Boulevard until you're about two miles away from anything interesting that's happening in the city. Park your car in the first godforsaken spot you find, preferably next to a shady looking filling station and a shanty t-shirt stand. Then start walking toward the city until you run up against a blockade for foot traffic, which will be about seventy yards.

Then walk down a ramp, turn left, walk down another ramp, turn right, walk down another ramp. This should bring you to a muddy-looking stream of some sort. Take the foot bridge and walk up a ramp, turn right, walk up another ramp, turn left and walk up another ramp.

This should take you to a set of stairs leading back down again. Go down the stairs, cross some dangerous-seeming railroad tracks and take another set of stairs going up.

Here, you'll find a long and winding path that leads to a fence that you can't climb over. Bo back and wander around until you find another set of ramps leading down to another muddy-looking stream, with more ramps leading up on the other side.

(The best time to do all this, obviously, is right in the middle of the afternoon, when the sun is beating down its brightest. That way, you'll be able to clearly see exactly where you're not going.)

Eventually, you'll come to some stairs leading up. Sit down on these stairs and yell "Fuck!" seventeen times as loudly as you can. (It won't be all that loud, since you won't have anymore oxygen in your lungs, due to the long walk and the lack of atmosphere a mile above sea-level.) Then consider taking a nap, punch yourself in the leg and start walking up the stairs.

Eventually, one day, you'll reach the city. Maybe.