If you're a professional protester, you have to be ready for anything, no matter who you're protesting for. So if you're outside instead of inside, convention-wise, here's a list of some things you'll need in your backpack:

* "Elect Cynthia McKinney" sign printed on the back of a recycled "Elect John Kerry" sign

* Copy of an email explaining who Cynthia McKinney is

* Patchouli-based Axe Body Spray

* List of reasons why Ralph Nader didn't cost Al Gore Florida

* List of reasons why Ralph Nader won't cost Barack Obama Pennsylvania

* Bong shaped like John McCain's head

* Inflatable seat cushion for use in the "Freedom of Speech Cage"

* Chant songbook, 1968 edition

* Shiny lure to bait Fox News