(Indecision 2008's Dave Anderson stumbles around the Xcel Energy Center and finds old cronies, safe sex and high fashion).

On my way to the convention Tuesday night, I passed the Trojan Condom bus just four blocks from the Xcel Center. I kid you not. I asked if they thought it was ironic that they were pushing a form of birth control considering the circumstances with Governor Palin… "No comment," the woman said. Then they began packing up their bananas.

It was a definitely a night of low energy and refocusing for the RNC. I walked in and John Bolton walked out — see in the middle of this photo. His mustache appeared to be trimmed but he apparently had no interest in seeing Thompson or Lieberman.

If McCain is elected Zubaz for all! As for the Frisbee-type accessory attached to the abdomen, that's the new homeland security tracking device. Just think of it as as broach.

As the night progressed the energy level definitely picked up. The fact that Bush Senior (in person but not speaking) and Bush Junior (via satellite) both made appearances surely put the convention back on track. Why Lieberman was given the task of energizing everyone into tomorrow is beyond me. As I tuned out his crunchy groan, I noticed something very peculiar…

The stairs leading up to the speaker's podium are encase in plexi-glass. It's ALL an ILLUSION!

On television it looks as if the speaker is just a few steps up from the delegates, but the reality is that the delegates would have to hurdle a giant glass case in order to reach the podium.

Our RNC politicians are so close, and yet so far away….