September 3 at 1:43PM
Four Great Republican Names
Gathered in St. Paul this week are some of the nation's top conservative thinkers, Keynesian economists, and evangelical ministers. But what brings them together beyond ideology is their shared heritage of fantastic Republican names! Here are four of the very best:
| Name | Why It's So Great |
Saxby Chambliss Senator from Georgia |
WASP-y yet wealthy, this name screams "GOP" without even ruffling its plaid golfing britches. (Apparently without ruffling its confederate flag either.) |
Tagg Romney Son of Mitt |
The name is an obvious homage to "Mitt" — Dad's way of saying: "Son, you're officially destined to become a Republican venture capitalist just like me." |
Tucker Bounds Spokesman for John McCain |
A boy named Tucker Bounds undoubtedly gets registered Republican before his umbilical cord is even cut. Later in life, the boy can look forward to sparring with Campbell Brown on CNN. |
Pierce Bush The President's nephew |
Getting this name is also license to mouth off to Campbell Brown… but it's not so Republican that you can't party with transvestites too! |
Have we left out your favorite Republican name? Feel free to write it in below!
PERMALINK:
RSS
Despite the commercials, Outback Steakhouse actually does have rules. Patrons can find out what those rules are by simply asking the wait-staff for the Tucker Bounds.
Schuyler Colfax, VP under Ulysses S Grant
Mitt, Tagg, Track, Trig, Saxby. Kind of makes George and Dick seem cute and quaint.
Oh, by the way: George Herbert Walker Bush. Say – no – MORE!
What is it with idiot conservatives and the first name "Tucker"?
Let us not forget:
Newt Gingrich
Lincoln Chafee
I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby
Rush Limbaugh
Arlen Specter
Denny Hastert
Shit names, all.
"Warren Buffet sounds like a great Republican name. But he's a Democrat."
That's because Warren Buffet is an awesome, awesome Capitalist. Him in the Democratic Party is like a confidently straight man surrounded by flaming, horny gays: he's so sure enough of who he is, all the dancing hippies couldn't freak him out no matter how much Barbara Streisand they play. XD
"Tucker"–as in Bounds– always makes me think of a word that rhymes with it.
Harry Bush, Jr., little George's nemesis and long, lost cousin.
a great republican name is also a great american name. you don't need to go any further back than ronald reagan for that. now contrast that with barack hussein obama. we all know what kind of name that is.
This just in: John McCain aide _Tucker Eskew_!
Tucker Tucker Tucker. (giggle)