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September 12 at 10:21AM

Catching Up With a Loser: Ron Paul

POSTED BY: Dylan and Ethan Ris

Congressman Ron Paul has had a busy week. Wednesday, he held a press conference to endorse not one, but three candidates for president — none of whom was John McCain. Today, Paul receives his own coronation as the next chronological entry in our Presidential Loser Series!

Paul, to the shock of many of his high-level campaign officers, is a Republican. While his young supporters are known for throwing neo-hippie events like Ronstock '08 and designing flower-power iconography for him, Paul himself is better known for:

* Leading Ronald Reagan delegations in the 1980s

* Attempting to abolish the Department of Education

* Voting in favor of school prayer

* Getting an "A" rating from the NRA

* Crusading for a return to the Gold Standard

* Proposing a constitutional amendment allowing states to ban flag burning

* Trying to deny citizenship to the U.S.-born children of illegal immigrants

None of that deterred his loyal supporters, who adored him for opposing the Iraq War and reminding them of their doddering grandfathers. They showed their love by contributing record amounts of money to his campaign, which stunned his rivals. It is unclear exactly what Paul did with all this money, since most of his advertising appeared in the form of homemade banners draped across highway overpasses.

At the very least, the money kept Paul in the race longer than almost any other Republican. He lasted until March 6th, dropping out via a video posted on his website.

We'll now turn the forum over to angry Ron Paul supporters who have a Google alert on his name and are appalled that we called him a "loser"…

  1. Sure this piece is satire, but remember what they say about us ron paul supporters; we are both tech-savy and fanatical. What does that mean? We will track down the haters via their IP address, and we will shoot them in the face. The preceding statement was also satire (see, it does work both ways).

    by Brooks5000 September 12th at 9:58PM
  2. Stop the bailouts, audit the federal reserve, end the senseless wars, eliminate the IRS? You're right these are crazy ideas, he's a loser for trying to spread freedom

    You are the worst, get killed

    by urscum September 12th at 11:06PM
  3. ALSO

    I am done with Comedy Central

    Channel blocked, F_OFF

    by urscum September 12th at 11:08PM
  4. Ron Paul Nation, get over yourselves. This is an ongoing series. Every other candidate has been trashed in the same way by this website. Look at their Edwards profile. Look at their Romney profile. Look at Huckabee, Bill Richardson, etc. You are embarrassing yourselves and also Ron Paul.

    by Pam September 13th at 12:29AM
  5. I was stuck this election. I hate them all. Then I found this: http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig8/hamilton4.html

    My solution was found in the last paragraph.

    by Rocky September 13th at 10:54PM
  6. How is propagating lies funny now? If this is some kindof immitation of the onion, it's very pathetic.

    by Daniel September 14th at 4:44PM
  7. *Cue the Chris Crocker-style tears*

    Leave Ron Paul alone! Leave him alone you assholes!

    OT: Good lord, the security code I had to type in to post this was "K-Y-K-E." Why are anti-Semitic posting codes being used?

    by Jim September 17th at 6:35PM
  8. I did not know that upholding our country's rule of law was a bad thing. If we listened to Ron Paul then we would have a Constitution instead of a one world government controlled by Rothschilds World Bank.

    by getusoutoftheun September 20th at 10:01PM
  9. [...] Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) has been accused of being a little old-fashioned. For instance, many smirked when he [...]

    by Breaking News - Somali Videos — Opinions on Bartamaha.com » Ron Paul Wants Bounty Hunters to Fight Pirates April 16th at 11:24AM
  10. [...] Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) has been accused of being a little old-fashioned. For instance, many smirked when he [...]

    by Ron Paul Wants Bounty Hunters to Fight Pirates | Christopher Howell April 16th at 11:38PM
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