It DO Mean a Thing!: Swing State Profiles – Michigan
As we push toward November 4, it's time to focus on our nation's Swing States (i.e. the ones who will pick a president for the rest of us based on whoever's negative ad they saw last.) So tough toodles, Texas. Nous sommes désolés, Massachusetts. Let's investigate a state that matters for a change…
Michigan's Key Players
* Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick — is ready, willing, and able to send 14,000 dirty text messages at taxpayers' expense on behalf of Obama.
* Congressional Candidate Dr. Jack Kevorkian — could drastically alter the race should he convince the 72-year-old McCain to come in for his "signature treatment."
* Dominos Pizza Founder Tom Monaghan — has thrown his sizable fortune behind McCain, after his preferred candidate was Raptured.
Obama's Constituency
* Members of the United Auto Workers union, who have conveniently scheduled their next strike for Election Day.
* Right-wing Ann Arbor residents who distrust Cynthia McKinney.
* Michael Moore, voting absentee in Flint from his Upper West Side penthouse.
McCain's Constituency
* Conservatives fed up with illegal immigration from Canada.
* Card-carrying members of the Michigan Militia.
* The Arab-American community in Dearborn, which was dismayed to discover that Obama is not a secret Muslim.
Predicted Winner: Obama
McCain has been hurt in Michigan by the downturn in the economy and by the fact that hard-right hard rocker Ted Nugent recently switched his voter registration to Texas.
Check out more Swing State Profiles here!
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What about our mountains? You probably thought that this was all flat land, you betcha. But golly we have mountains just like that alasker, too. We have the Mount Clemons, we have the Mount Elliot
too. And boy do we have the rapids. Big Rapids, Grand Rapids and we got that Clearwater too. And we got the bays by golly. We got
Bay City, Big Bay, Big Bay de Noc. And we got two types of people here. We got the trolls or apple knockers as some call dem and then we got the hoops. Hey "Say ya to da UP,eh!" and then we got them MC-5. They had this song,…"The Motor City is Burning"…Eh?
Now I guess I am Ramblin…..come to think of it "Ramblin Rose" is another good one.
I heard Dominos is suing a woman's clinic for unauthorized use of their motto "30 minutes or less."
i'm from Hamtramck and I love it here
Hamtramck is "in the tank" (to use whiner Shmidt's words) for Obama all the way. I predict it will be Obama by similar margin as 04.
Dominos Pizza. Thirty minutes or less. Guess they had to abort that slogan. Hypocrites.
I almost forgot to mention the wine country. I just cracked a bottle of St Julian this past weekend. Puttin' in a plug for Michigan wine! That'll get ya swingin'. You're welcome, PawPaw!
They couldn't get them, anyway. Grosse Isle has a monopoly on Michigan vowels.
Hamtramck don't need no stinking vowels, Dave.
Michigan to Obama by a nose. Nugent's non-vote is the deciding factor.
Yeah, Michigan's a swinger alright, what with its lower "hand" always trying to grab the Upper "Peninsula". Gerald Ford played here, and he was acutely aware of what actual votes meant. Ya gotta love a state that has two redundant cities with the names Grand Rapids and Big Rapids. Then there's that favorite geography name, Ypsilanti. And my personal favorite of all time, Hamtramck. Ypsilanti ought to loan Hamtramck a few vowels!