The Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Assuming John McCain decides to show up for the presidential debate, it will take place tomorrow night at the University of Mississippi. (For the record, we think there are people out there who deserve to use delay tactics way more than McCain does. This guy, for example.)
But whenever the debate takes place, you're gonna need some sort of drinking game. The key to this one is to take a shot of Everclear and then do each of the following:
* Everytime a candidate mentions September 11th, prank-call Rudy Giuliani.
* Every time a candidate mentions the Arctic Wildlife Refuge, plunge a turkey baster into your ice cube tray.
* Every time a candidate promises to bring back blue collar jobs, call your customer service rep in Bangalore.
* Every time a candidate says "folks," threaten to foreclose on an Iowa farm unless the farmer's daughter "cooperates."
* Every time Barack Obama mentions his tax cuts for the middle class, gift-wrap a box of poo for your rich uncle.
* Every time McCain says "friends," call Lindsey Graham and say "I think he's talking about you!"
* Every time Obama pauses before the predicate of a sentence, go watch Star Trek: The Original Series to see how a pro does it.
* Every time Jim Lehrer says something boring, send yourself a "Celtic Thunder" tote bag.
* Every time McCain mentions "the Surge," drink a Red Bull. Every time he mentions "Red Bull," drink a Surge.
* Every time Obama strings together at least three fuzzy, liberal platitudes, cue up the episode of The West Wing where Mrs. Landingham dies.
* Every time McCain refers to his running mate, stand up, face Russia and finish whatever bottle is in front of you.
RSS
* McCain says "my friends"
* McCain says "Warshington"
* Obama says "um"
* Obama starts a sentence with "Look" (double if it's "uh-uh-uh, look.")
* Anyone says "the American people"
http://www.nd.edu/~jmengers/DebateDrinkingGame2008.pdf
HEY YOU KNUCKLEHEADS!!!
You must all have been asleep at the wheel last week, when the head of the FBI Mueller was before the Senate Judiciary Committee last week… and live on C-Span3 in front of God and everyone watching… Let one Rip. He Farted like a Chili Cook off Judge!
1 for McCain saying maverick
1 for mcCain saying reform
1 for obama saying Change
2 for either saying "reach across the aisle"
chug a beer if they hug at the end
"I really hope the Commission on Presidential Debates makes the intelligent choice and allows Nader and Barr to participate in tonight's debate."
LOLOLOLOL. I just peed a little. Thanks for making my day.
Nader and Barr? Seriously?
Next time try not to drink all of the
Everclear before the coin toss…hippie.
Now as an Australian should i feel bad drinking while watching the debates?? They do kinda start at 11 in the morning…
Maybe you guys can put the on later for me next time so i dont feel like an alcoholic
Thanks America!!
Now, for the second round:
1. When Obama refers to a plan you must read on his website, take a drink and try to crash the site with Hope
2. When McCain gets uses that "older-smarter-whiter" phrase "Obama doesn't seem to understand" switch to the debate in Espanol (or, if already in Espanol, switch to Quebecois French).
3. Any use of "failed policies" requires a visit to http://www.failblog.org
4. Whenever the Town Hall Format is explained yet again, update the Wikipedia page to include the new platitudes about the "real" America.
5. Each ethos attack gets one drink and one concession to Plato that perhaps rhetoric is evil after all. (For rhetorician geeks only!)
I just did this for the second presidential debate…
1)Taxes
2)Every time they mention each others name
3)economy
I suggest using a good beer because Hard A will probably cause alcohol poisoning, It did for me and I was Using Budweiser…I blacked out as soon as they McCain got to the part about how hes a maverick .
FUCK YOU