10:39 – Alright, kids. It's a madhouse in here, and I've been jammed in a corner away from the bathroom for hours. So, I gotta go do that and smoke and get idiotically drunk.

But please do keep up the conversation in the comments.

10:37 – Oh, and apparently we solved that whole POW/MIA issue. Someone should tell the bikers down the street from me.

10:36 – John McCain was in prison???!!! That's news to me!

10:33 – That's adorable. John McCain loves the vets and will take care of them. I wish I had a president who'd do that for me.

I'm so lonely.

10:29 – From the comments: "'We can't drill our way out of the problem' – That's not what she said." – (Rebekah)

10:28 – Wait, Obama hassss it too. Maybe it'ssss our sssssound ssssysssstem.

10:27 – McCain gets a little bit of a whistle in his S's when he talks about 9/11, doesn't he?

10:25 – Barack Obama is in favor of nuclear waste. Good for him.

10:24 – John McCain can say "nuclear." I think that makes him a snob.

10:22 – McCain's not wearing a flag pin. Why does he hate America? – Scout Finch

10:19 – By the way, Katie is also liveblogging this here. But make sure to tip your bartender.

10:17 – Stealing from Scout again. So, McCain's really fond of saying how he's known Kissinger for 135 years. We understand. You've been in Washington a loooooong time.

10:15 – Oh my! Here comes McCain's temper. Under your desks everyone.

10:13 – The average South Korean is three-inches tall?

10:12 – Oh no he didn't! Obama brought up Spain, girlfriend.

And then McCain pulls out the seal comment.

It's on!

10:09 – McCain is coming up with a rider of things he'll need in trailer if he's gonna meet with Iran. What do you think he'll be adding? Green M&Ms? A poster of Tina Fey?

(Credit where credit is due. I stole that from Scout.)

10:08 – McCain can't say Achmadentdslkjdkdijad's name? What's up with that?

10:07 – McCain is bold. He just came out strongly against a second holocaust. Good for him! – MK

10:03 – Iran is an existential threat to Israel. Just like Sartre.

10:01 – This whole debate has come down to who was given a more valuable piece of jewelry? And I'm hearing a lot of talk about bracelets, but neither man seems to actually be WEARING a bracelet. – MK

9:58 – "I'm such a Maverick, I voted AGAINST Reagan!" – MK

9:57 – McCain said "Ronald Reagan"! At the 57-minute mark. Someone just won a bunch of money.

9:55 – McCain promises he'll never publicly say he'd invade Pakistan. Well, unless it was through song.

9:54 – So, Barack Obama can't say we'll invade Pakistan, but Sarah Palin can? I'm sorry, but that's just sexist.

9:52 - I can't decide if they both have become better debaters since the primaries, or if they look better because I'm comparing them to each other and they are both crappy. – Michael Kraskin

9:48 – So, I'm sitting next to Katie Halper, Scout Finch and a Sarah Palin-esque-looking New York Times reporter.

Damn it! It's times like this when I wish I was attractive or charming. Or funny.

9:45 – My opinion may be greatly skewed by the crowd noises here, but from what I'm hearing (and kinda seeing) it sounds like Obama is playingcalm and McCain is playing continual catch-up.

9:44 – The crowd likes the "You like to pretend that the war started in 2007" line. Just sayin'.

9:41 – Michael Kraskin brings up and excellent point. One of the rules of this debate is that the audience is not allowed to cheer or boo or applaud or make facial expressions.

Sitting here in this room — where the audience explodes every time Obama utters an utterence — I can't even imagine what that's like.

9:40 – McCain really is obsessed with owning an Iraq Forever themepark, isn't he?

9:38 – Is John McCain really allowed to call himself a "maverick"? Isn't that like me calling myself "handsome"? That's not really my judgment call to make.

9:37 - Barack Obama said "orgy"! It's been legitimized finally!

We're all gonna get laid.

9:34 – It's interesting that Lehrer is treating this more as an open dialogue, not really directing questions to either one in particular

9:32 – Obama said "McCain calls me wildly liberal, that just means I'm opposing George Bush." Excellent line.

9:29 – I'm having a million tons of fun here, but I'm gonna have to go back and re-watchg this thing. Please tell me what my opinions should be in the comments.

9:24 – Sorry. Just got on a better internet signal. I'm back.

BTW, I love the word "festooned." Good for you, McCain.

9:15 – How many times is John McCain gonna use that "paternal issue" bear joke? What is he a stand-up comedian touring the late night talk shows?

9:12 – The crowd keeps laughing uproariously every time Jim Lehrer says anything. Oh, by the way, if I stand up and crane my neck just the right way, I can kind of see Barack Obama's ear.

9:11 – "Greed is rewarded." What is he, Gordon Gecko?

9:07 – Aw! John McCain's not feeling to well about some things these days. I wonder what those things are. The polls? His running mate? His skin?

9:06 – Ted Kennedy's in the hospital?

9:05 – I may have to watch this thing online. Crazy.

9:03 – Holy God! It's insanely crowded here at Drinking Liberally. At this point, I can't even see the TV.

And the crowd is intense! It's like being at an Eagles game. But slightly less violent.

If you're in New York — or the New York area or have access to one of John McCain's flying carpets — and you're looking for a nice quiet place to watch tonight's debate (assuming isn't called away on urgent inter-dimensional business at the last minute), then you definitely don't want to show up to Drinking Liberally's Presidential Debate Watch at The Tank in lower Manhattan (87 Lafayette St. between Walker and White).

That's where I'm gonna be liveblogging from, and I liveblog very loudly. And sometimes shirtless. And you don't wanna see that.

However, if you choose not to heed my warnings and want to come by anyway, make sure you get there by 8 pm, when a couple of excellent stand-up comedians will be warming up the crowd before the really funny stuff happens in the debate. They are…

Katie Halper
Elon James White
Harry Terjanian
Joe Quint

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take off my shirt and catch an N Train.

—

Seems a little silly to be liveblogging a debate that we all already know John McCain is going to have won so handily.

But, you know, it's kind of our job. And McCain did go through all the trouble make-believe suspending his campaign and fixing all of America's money woes. So, I guess we probably should.

So, check back here tonight at 9 pm to watch the John McCain cream Barack Obama in The Great Debate That Almost Didn't Happen with us.

Because, really, we can't be any more stupid about the whole thing than Wolf Blitzer. Right?

Oh, and we'll be updating this post throughout the day with any relevant debate-related bullshit.