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September 30 at 1:05PM

Congress Adjourns for Hanukkah or Something

POSTED BY: Ethan Ris

So, yesterday the U.S. House of Representatives failed to pass the massive financial bailout bill, shocking the White House and Congressional leaders and sending Wall Street into a financial panic, wherein the Dow Jones lost 778 points.

I know what you're thinking. They're going to get right back to work, right? Figure this thing out ASAP?

Wrong! First they're going to go into recess for two days in honor of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.

But wait a second, you say. Why are they adjourning for a Jewish holiday? I thought this was America and not Jewishland or whatever their country is called.

It turns out that there are in fact forty-three Jewish members of Congress. Can you believe it? That's more than the number of black, gay, or ex-Washington Redskins quarterback members. You learn something every day, huh?

Congress will reconvene to deal with the financial crisis on Thursday, after the 43 Jewish legislators finish preparing their Holy Land for the second coming of Jesus so that the world can finally come to an end… Or whatever it was that Mike Huckabee said.

  1. Barack Obama must be Jewish. He is obviously a 58th Century kind of guy. (Baruch Obama, more likely!) As opposed to McCain, to whom "1st Century" applies in oh, so many ways.

    Happy New Year, everyone, and I mean everyone.

    by DaveW September 30th at 2:13PM
  2. Today we celebrate The New Year and welcome J.C. Watts to our traditional dinner to join us for a toast with some Jewish Ripple (Maneshevitz). We also get a two for one discount.

    by Saul In Boca September 30th at 1:16PM

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