How the Third Party Candidates Can Still Pull It Off
Remember that time on Lost when everyone became consumed and distracted by Jack vs. Locke, and then all of a sudden Sawyer had all the guns and got to be in charge for, like, a day?
Well, what's to stop the same thing from happening in the presidential election? I mean, other than logic, history and common sense.
Because the fact of the matter is, the third party contenders may be down, but they are not yet out. Circumstances remain that could put one of them in the White House.
Circumstances like…
The Green Party's Cynthia McKinney
An abundance of absent-minded voters arrive to the polls remembering only that they want either "the black one" or "McSomething."The Constitution Party's Chuck Baldwin
Every registered voter in the country gets pretty bad diarrhea on election day. Except Chuck Baldwin's mom.Libertarian Bob Barr
An arcane Supreme Court ruling is discovered that awards 400 electoral votes to the candidate with the bossest 'stache.Independent Ralph Nader
Americans suddenly decide to vote for the candidate they most want to hang out in a bar and abolish the Taft-Hartley act with.Independent Alan Keyes
Days before the election, voters fed up with the ineffective two-party system look for something new and better. The message of Alan Keyes campaign begins resonating across the country, bringing people of all stripes together in an unprecedented moment of unity. Because Alan Keyes built a robot that hypnotized everyone.
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In response to UR DUM, while this is a comedy blog, they clearly show bias. It's evident that this blog is pro-Obama, so they're more harsh in criticizing the other candidates, McCain in particular.
You guys forgot Socialist Party of America's candidate Brian Moore!!! I don;t know what would get him elected. Maybe threat of a firing squad a la Castro???
@Jim October
That's because McCain says so many stupid things. He also is old, a little dillusional (see Sarah Palin being picked as VP), and Racist (see 'That One'). Someone has to teach him a lesson.
I personally know several people who are fed up with the Rep. and Dem. schoolyard slugfest and the deterioration of our country after the years of alledged leadership by these political machines. They say they are voting for Nader. What if other folks around the country feel this way and say what the hell I'm going to vote for an alternative candidate instead of the party owed and bred talking heads that are the forerunners in the election. Now that WOULD be real change.
Sorry I meant party OWNED and bred talking heads
@flashunbum: I'm pleased to announce that I managed to gain another Bob Barr supporter. A woman I know said she'll be voting for Barr as protest against how the two-party system has fucked us over. So I'm slowly making progress.
Hey guys! fed up with the two party sytem? get rid of the electoral college so that third-party candidates can have a chance at the presidency!
Well, maybe one of these 3rd party candidates actually has the legal and economic experience to get us beyond the economic crisis we are experiencing WORLD wide!
Consider this. A sound business plan for the world as it is today? What would that be. Now presuming your business is to make the world work–that is, for everyone. You want peace, you want health, you want people to thrive and develop themselves in a sparky, vibrant way, keen on life and interested in stuff that just makes life better.
(This constitutes, I'll grant, a bias. But there you have it.)
What would make sense in this world?
Would you take money, borrow multiples more than you have in your budget to put it into something that is only going to remove treasures of antiquity, a large proportion of a generation of your population, committed funds for historical, ongoing programs in your country (not to mention the inflational nature of needs as population increases and economies sour), the bodily and psychic health and fitness of a large proportion of your workforce and families (and so your communities), the faith and trust of a people that their elected government is looking out for them, multiply this times 2 for the country you are invading, and take all of that and heave it into the toilet?
Would you deny and obfuscate about a massive change, a 'sea change' in the availability of resources and effects of the way you do business? (Yeah- Climate Change, Global Warming, Envirnomental Degradation, Increasing scarcity of raw materials INCLUDING certain metals crucial to computer components manufactured as we have come to know them today)
Would you deny and ignore the effects of what you do on your workforce?
Would you not look to see how distribution of employment opportunities affects the various locations of your business?
Might you not consider working cooperatively with the various teams within your business to come up with solutions that make things work for all of you?
Would you consider defining a business or an entity of concern as a conference of individuals or concerns who/that share the same resources?
Where is the glass sphere that keeps 'our' air, water, soil (landfall of rain and airborne particulates, historical use of pesticides, etc.) separate?
This probably seems radical re: the status quo. But, well, if it's a choice of how we do well v. how we do badly, well…
Maybe our leadership needs are big this year.
Someone who understands our constitution as well as our need to cooperate with the other concerrns in our large and yet small business association.
Someone who 'gets' the economic system, is able to ally with intelligent, people with education and heart. Someone who isn't afraid to ask questions or to talk to people who do.
Someone who is willing to articulate to us and address the questions the media bring up. It would be nice if everyone appreciated our good points, but when we run for President, we ought to answer the questions that are raised about us.
And the public–we do better to read widely and develop our antennae for truth.
obama is the new black