"Gary Unmarried" Fans, Get Ready for "Barack Obama"
Just as George W. Bush figured that being president would be the perfect stepping stone to becoming Commissioner of Baseball, I've always suspected that Barack Obama's presidential campaign was just a lark to raise enough money to get him what he's really always wanted…
Barack Obama has purchased a half-hour of airtime on CBS, sources confirm. The Obama campaign will air a half-hour primetime special on Wednesday, Oct. 29, at 8 p.m.
Yessir, America, get ready to fall in love with Obama. Born in Hawaii, raised in Indonesia by his wacky Muslim stepfather, he goes off to Harvard and Columbia where he learns to eat arugula only return to the mean streets of Chicago where a cast of variegated ethnic stereotypes teach him how be real. When he reads in the local paper that the governor's busty wife has exposed her husband's public sex fetishes, he decides to run for Senate. Then, just four years later, having taught everyone in the Senate how to wear their shades, he decides to run for president. And to top it all off, he's black!
Zany!
The direct purchase of such a large block of national airtime right before an election used to be more commonplace before campaigns began to focus their end game strategies exclusively on battleground states. Such a move is not without precedent in modern presidential politics, however — Ross Perot did a similar purchase in 1992.
As much as I love cult classics, I sincerely hope Obama isn't looking to Perot as a model. The Ross Perot Show was cancelled after only six episodes when the Dana Carvey impression he perfected during the campaign fell flat in a half-hour, three camera format.
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Jack Ryan was never governor of Illinois. That was George Ryan — the convicted felon.
It's his early "Vote for me or you won't have heat this" Christmas Special.
Sold!
I see it as an All In The Family ripoff, with Barack as Archie, Michelle as Edith, Sarah Palin as Gloria, and John McCain as The Meathead.
Barack comes home from a hard day in the Oval Office, where he is forced to put up with the shenanigans of his son-in-law John, who married Sarah despite Barack's objections. Barack waits for dinner in his favorite chair, shouting for "Michelle,there" to get him stuff, while John makes snarky comments to Sarah about "that one". Barack keeps telling John to "get a job, Meathead". Special guest appearances by Henry Paulson, Ben Bernanke, and Barney Frank as the guys from down at the factory.