John Cleese's "Ode to Sean Hannity"
Last night, on The Countdown, Keith Olbermann recited a special poem for Sean Hannity that was written by none other than Monthy Python's John Cleese…
Ode to Sean Hannity
by John CleeseAping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You're a profanity
Hannity
You can see Olbermann's reading here on MSNBC's site (at about the 2:40 mark).
You know, it's kinda funny. Just the other day, I wrote a poem for Sean Hannity, too. It just came to me while I was watching Fox News after the last debate…
Poem for Sean Hannity
by Dennis DiClaudioHey, Sean Hannity
Fuck you
Mine's got more of a beatnik feel to it.
Cleese's is better.
Update: Your poems are already waaaay better than mine, so I'm gonna open this up. Drop your own Hannity-inspired poems in the comments, and I'll pick out a few of my favorites to post. Thanks.
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At times I think of dead puppies
To go that extra mile.
Hannity works just as well
Unless I upheave bile.
I'd like to see Sean
Mowing the lawn
In widescreen Technorama
I'd like to see Sean
Mowing the lawn
Of the White House for Mr. Obama
Sean Hanity Weeps
America is Cheering
I'll get a tissue
you irish prick,
you make me sick
with your conservative talk.
open your mouth,
and insert a sock.
we'd all be clappin
but it will never happen,
which does not surprise us.
you look like a balloon,
filled with puss.
America is the best country
In the whole damn world,
If you don't agree with me commie,
Your entire family I'll scold.
If you can't see the glory
Of that red white and blue
That must mean yer a terrorist
And a secret muslim too.
Now give me that mic,
And turn on Camera Three
Cuz there's no way I'll bear
Being out-Nielsened by Colbert.
I'm a poetry buff, now. But, please, Danknuggets, don't insult the Irish and kitty cats (it's pus, not puss). I doubt either would claim a connection with Hannity. By the way, my offering:
Hey, you!
Hannity!
Now, it's My country,
Too!
So typical of Lefties
Your hate has no heft-ies
Just name calling and ignorant rants
Debate on the issues and facts
Not just immature cracks
Perhaps you could learn if you listened
P.S. Can any of you locate Iraq on a map?
Name a Supreme Court Associate?
Name the VP?
"Yes, we can" (bankrupt a country)
TO BE ,OR NOT TO BE, OH YES OH TO BE A ASSHOLE
ODE TO HANNITY AND CRY BABY GLEN BECK AND THE OTHER ASSHOLE IRISHMAN O'RIELEY
PS IM IRISH
Oh Sean, come on…
Your debates are one-sided and your facts are misguided.
My disgust is quickening as your smugness is sickening.
Spreading fear to the illiterate seems fun to you – isn't it?
Just talk right over your invited guest,
as they start to say something you don't think best…
A quick jab of sarcasm and a right hook cliche,
No opposing views on your show today.
Only your cronies, both well-fed and bony (see Rush and Coulter),
or a pat on the back by your parallel hack (see O'Reilly),
or a loud "I concur" from the criminal cur (see Rove),
get their chance to speak. Others lose – can this really be news?
Oh Sean, come on…
Dennis DiClaudio's "Poem for Sean Hannity" is an instant classic.
Mine is called "If Sean Hannity Was In the Crosswalk, I Wouldn't Stop."
It's a work in progress…