…You (Still?) Might Be a Muslim
You're driving through West Plains, Missouri, like you always do, and you come across this billboard, which was clearly designed by the same artist who wanted to brighten up your breakfast with this. And naturally, you're still having trouble deciding whether Barack Obama is an "Arab" or not. So, we thought it was time to remind you of this handy guide we found in the bathroom at Swifty's Swiftboatery Inn and Swiftboatorium:
* If you greet your wife fist-to-fist instead of open palm-to-open palm, you might be a Muslim.
* If you want to turn the USA into a terrorist paradise with universal terrorist healthcare and college tuition credits for every terrorist, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have ever not punched a gay person you totally could have punched, you might be a Muslim.
* If you lob inspiring platitudes like hand grenades, you might be a Muslim.
* If you have talked to a Muslim, you might be a Muslim.
* If young people aren't immediately revulsed by your craggy, translucent skin and creepy old man giggle, you might be a Muslim.
* If you go to a Christian church that has a crazy pastor, you might be a Muslim.
* If you're black and running for president, you might be a Muslim.
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Sarah Palin is a Moose-lim.
Of course, how can I be so blind? The concern about health care, job creation and market reform. Obama is out to destroy America for El Quida!
I hate when this happens.
@Obama '08: No, Bob Barr will make a better candidate than Obama, McCain or Bush.
Oh, Karen & Eric, you do realize that universal health care is a socialist pipe dream, right?
The sheer joy of an Obama win has gotten me hating McCain & Palin even more. Their campaign reminds me of the Andre Agassi ad campaign for Minolta years ago when Agassi finished with the catch phrase, "Image is everything". Obama will instill the grace and dignity of the U.S. presidency that's been lacking since John F. Kennedy. http://www.renounceyourcitizenship.com
These r th type me things that make me/us as muslim's sad.people know nothin bout islam and what it teaches2call it a terroristic religion.look at th original report.what bad stuff r associated wit being a muslim.are th muslims invading iraq, afghanistan n palestine.are they th ones killin innocent people,women and kids?i dare one &all to study islam-to find out really what th religion entails.
@Jim, every country that outranks the United States in 1) increased life expectancy, 2) reduction in infant mortality, and 3) reduction of teenage pregnancy have "socialized medicine".
That's one bowl I wouldn't mind sharing with the rest of the world.
If you're a Quaker, eat oats, but are a registered Democrat, you might be a Muslim.
If you're Bobby Jindal, you can't be a Muslim because you're a Republican.
If you're a Muslim who supports Bush, you can't be a Muslim. You are Chinese.
If you're a Jew who supports Muslims, people will be confused how to pick on you.
If you're black and are voting Republican, you're a covert Muslim working for the CIA trying to find black Muslim moles infiltrating the G.O.P.
Sweet heavens, by the Lurie/March criteria I have a 50% chance of being Muslim. I won't say what the other 50% might be. Does this mean that I also have a 50% chance of being a terrorist? I'm also not willing to say that the terroristic impulses reside in the possibly Muslim side! To quote one of my favorite fictional characters, "Citizens, you can never tell."
I took the test and I am almost certainly a Muslim! Except I have a rabbi, and he's not crazy. He's just a little meshugenah.
Check out this Youtube video, it's a song about Sarah Palin!
http://www.youtube.com/kimblethelegend