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Lone Star Status

Pour yourself a cool drink of chili and watch the best Daily Show messin' with Texas moments.
November 4 at 10:37PM

Patton Oswalt's LiveBlog

POSTED BY: Patton Oswalt

10:36p: Oprah's quoting the Bible on ABC right now.

10:19p: Man, William Kristol won't let the Palin thing go. He's got evil, far-reaching plans…

10:12p: Bring me the head of Michelle Bachman!

10:03p: Stop calling what McCain has before him a "climb". The people on the Hindenburg didn't face a "climb" when that thing hit the power lines.

9:57: "Are you watching FOX News? I think they're drunk. I'm not kidding. Listen to Brit Hume."

9:54p: Boy, Shepard Smith just made the term "strategy room" sound fucking ominous.

9:52p: I'm pretty much going to keep it on FOX for the rest of the night. Dan Rather shall be a palate-cleanser.

9:44p: Is anyone watching CNN? It's over. McCain had a chance against Obama,
but he's no match for MATH.

9:42: Sorry I haven't posted. I'm letting the scotch dapple my heart.

9:34p: I can literally hear Fred Barnes' stomach eating itself from tension and defeat.

9:28p: Ohio for Obama. I'll still be blogging for the next two hours, but…

…IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Go Overtime!!!!!! More more coverage.

    by Harvey Esquire November 4th at 11:00PM
  2. chuck gibson just declared obama the 44th president.

    very anticlimactic if you ask me.

    at least have diane sawyer some some nip…

    geez.

    by nonfolksinger November 4th at 11:02PM
  3. Yeah! Take that hippie Woodstock failures!

    by Ignatius Crumwald November 4th at 11:02PM
  4. Patton, did you pass out from the hooch, already?

    by JimInNC November 4th at 11:07PM
  5. Check out the douchebaggery on ABC Family Channel. Pat Robertson's on CBN News/700 Club.

    by RAJ November 4th at 11:18PM
  6. god bless you Patton, those fucks at Comedy Central didn't bother to think of those of us who don't have cable but YOU were there for us. Promise to see your show next time I'm in whereveryouareplaying USA USA! USA!

    by echster November 4th at 11:36PM
  7. Um, you still there, Patton? The Lone Ranger won!

    by aaronsama November 4th at 11:50PM
  8. America fuck yeah!

    by jonjonjonjonjon November 5th at 12:07AM
  9. Did anyone see Gore Vidal interview on the BBC? Either he's gone dotty or he's more of a genius than ever.

    by jackbox November 5th at 12:20AM
  10. Oh my god THIS IS IT
    The moment we've all been waiting for.
    It is now cool to be an American again.
    People are lighting off fireworks in the street, my friends are screaming "yes we can" at the sky/television/me, and crusty, vegan anarchist bike-punks are skipping past my front porch chanting "USA, USA, USA…"

    I can smell the freedom in the air.
    I HEAR THAT TRAIN-AH-COMIN'

    We (all of us, America) fucking did it.

    by Ross Yates November 5th at 2:17AM
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