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November 4 at 2:16AM

The First Results Are In!

POSTED BY: Dylan and Ethan Ris

John McCain has often stated that he owes his entire campaign to the state of New Hampshire, whose voters hauled him out of the gutter after an embarassing, ethanol-fueled trainwreck in Iowa. He even superstitiously returned to the state on Sunday for a final town hall meeting to send him off to victory.

And how long did it take New Hampshire voters to send McCain's hopes crashing down like the Old Man of the Mountain?

Try one minute

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama emerged victorious in the first election returns of the 2008 presidential race, winning 15 of 21 votes cast in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire…

It was the first time since 1968 that the village leaned Democratic in an election.

Obama's rival, Republican John McCain, won 6 votes.

McCain advisor Steve Schmidt now insists that internal campaign polling always had those 15 Dixville Notch votes going to Obama, but that the nation's other 130,000,000 votes are solidly for McCain.

Schmidt also announced that all remaining Election Day press releases will include a copy of his resume as well as personal references.

  1. First time in my lifetime that Dixville Notch went Democratic. I say it's an omen.

    by Brad November 4th at 3:16AM
  2. Dixville Notch may have just turned California red.

    by Cube November 4th at 5:09AM
  3. Dixville Notch is New Hampshire's crotch. It is the Wasilla of the Northeast.

    What is the fascination with this nano-burg that insists on voting first, just like their state insists on having the first primary? It reminds me of my father-in-law, who's only purpose in life at his incredibly advanced age seems to be proving his continuing relevance.

    by DaveW November 4th at 7:24AM
  4. how shallow democrats and these news organizations can be. 15 votes for obama, and there is big hue and cry. How partial is this election. I started to dislike all the news media for partiality except FOX news. GOD SAVE AMERICA from these news media.

    by John November 4th at 8:57AM
  5. Take comfort, John, God is definitely on your side. God listens to you, personally, and is completely in tune with your political leanings. God's agenda is your agenda. God has a deep, personal stake in all that you and the United States of America do. And, God is not partial, as some news networks are.

    by DaveW November 4th at 9:22AM
  6. Are people seriously damming all news outlets for being biased – but NOT Fox news? The most biased and corrupt media station of them all?!?
    Of course the media is biased, either because of the vested interest of the owners or the individual reporter. What do you think editorials are for?

    by Chris Hirons November 4th at 9:33AM
  7. Why bother voting if God is going to decide the election? I wonder if he will smite all the people who voted for M/P? He should.

    by Cathi November 4th at 10:15AM
  8. Lol. Landslide.

    by Kyle Stonehouse November 4th at 11:15AM
  9. Also in Hart's Location, which also votes early, Ron Paul got 2 write-in votes. I predict a big day for him as well.

    by Revolution November 4th at 11:26AM
  10. OK so the left coast is Blue, and the Republicrats have won anyway. Come on CALIFORNIANS, make a REAL difference and VOTE for a THIRD PARTY….we cant change this election but maybe we can diversify this process for the future….

    by BajaBrent November 4th at 1:59PM
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