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November 13 at 2:40PM

Peru Tempts Obama Family With Ugly Incan King Dog

POSTED BY: G. Xavier Robillard

It's the pride of Peru. The Dog of Kings. It's hairless, has giant ears, is occasionally toothless with good looks that make the average rodent feel better about itself. It's the Peruvian Hairless, and it just might go to the White House.

In a craven election promise President-elect Obama offered his daughters a puppy but since Malia has allergies, and the new Administration refuses to cave in to the Pharma lobby and give her medicine, they need to find a suitable, hypoallergenic dog. Or just get the girls a Roomba, which is cute and helps clean the house.

Enter the nation of Peru, which has offered the Obama family a four-month-old Peruvian Hairless puppy named Machu Picchu. The hairless breed of dog was revered by the Incan kings of old and is said to even mitigate asthma and arthritis.

"They do not cause any type of allergy and are very friendly and sweet," said Claudia Galvez, 38, director of the Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association.

Should they go with the dog Malia's allergies will be fine, because Machu Picchu is ugly enough to clear the room.

But, how would the Obama transition team handle rejecting this most awesome offer? Explain that accepting it…

* Would show favoritism to Peru and jeopardize trade talks with Colombia.

* Sends the wrong message about preferential treament to big-eared beings.

* Looks like an overt endorsement of Taco Bell.

* Would alienate the Furries whose support has been so critical to the Obama victory.

  1. i Loove that dog, its really cute! I want one also!

    by John November 14th at 4:09PM
  2. Rush Limbaugh is already clamoring that selection of the Peruvian Hairless is proof of sweeping affirmative action policy for The White House.

    by Oddity November 13th at 8:10PM
  3. I think it's actually a little bit cute – so long as it's not one of the toothless ones. But then again, I like hairless cats, too, so my taste is weird.

    Is she only allergic to dogs? If so, why not just get a cat? And if those both fail, pot-bellied pigs make great pets (not joking).

    by iowagradstudent November 13th at 5:08PM
  4. The night-blooming spiral cereus peruvianus is a good choice of cactus, if they decide on a plant instead of a hairless dog.

    by Hilo November 13th at 4:35PM

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