December 10 at 3:20AM
The Colbert Report: Rod Blagojevich Is Taking Bribes
Rod Blagojevich takes us to a new low in dumb by using his own phone even when he knew he was under investigation.
Aside from updating his Facebook status, could Blagojevich have been any less discreet?
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Steven,
I read through the entire 76 page federal complaint of our Illinois Governor Blagojevich, and at the time thought that I would never hear anything more shocking! However, last night ON YOUR SHOW you used as the subject of a sentence, "Me and [my friend] are going…" I damn near drove off the couch. BUT YOU WERE NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY. Shame. Shame.
Surely, you, defender of patriotism, the faith and the GRAMMAR must know that the subjective case for starting sentences should be " My friend] and I are going to the movies……"
Doubt me? Check the tapes.
Diana Nelson
Chicago
It's StePHen.
Rod not only mandates the ethics test, but we state employees have been apprised that he also takes it, as though that should provide us with ample incentive to comply. It has always been extremely comforting to know that he takes the test along with the rest of us.
As for the birthday cake…might want to bake a file into it. If there is any justice in this world, he's gonna need it.
Well, he could've filmed an 'infomercial' with Ron Popeil; had his bribe offer date Jennifer Aniston; or discreetly informed Robert Novak, for beginners.
Oh & he could've sent his bribe offer to Aruba and had it reported missing. (though only if the offer was white)
[Edit: why is my required security code "ICUP"?!?]
Inspired by Blago, my 79 year old mother created an (expletive) Golden Senate Seat (tissue box cover) and I wrote some advertising copy to sell it on Ebay. The original ad followed by the revisions are viewable at http://www.starryeyedcynic.com/seat.htm
It was getting bids and over a thousand hits when Ebay pulled the listing, stating it violated their policies by promoting illegal activity. I revised the listing to read Senate Seat Accessory, qualified every statement and relisted. Again, it was up over a thousand hits, when the listing was pulled AGAIN, for promoting illegal activity. I have sent multiple emails to Ebay requesting what specifically promoted illegal activity but they have only responded with a vague, obviously one-size-fits-all response that does not address anything specific.
I was hoping the box would sell for big bucks (my mom's on a fixed income) but now I just want kick Ebay in the ass. I would love for your writers to take a look at the original ad and the revised ad and see if it is an opportunity to skewer Ebay for protecting (?) the general public whom they clearly view as MORONS who think buying a tissue box cover will earn them an office in DC. I know they have certain legal obligations, but please view the ad and tell me what you think.
I'll even give you the (expletive) Seat. Provided you clearly understand that an (expletive) Golden Senate Seat tissue box cover does not earn you any actual political power or encourage you to act in any otherwise illegal activity (like maybe throwing used Kleenex on the floor). Unless you give it to Alderman Mell (who is surely pondering an appropriate gift for his son-in-law) Thanks!
The highlight of my day today was receiving mail from our governor. I was thrilled to know how proud this man was that I am an Illinois State Scholar! Some day I will enjoy telling my children about how this great man, of such integrity and honor, has bestowed upon me this high recognition. Don't you think the colleges I have applied to will see this as a great endorsement?
The FBI on federal corruption charges arrested both on Tuesday morning. This would be the start again of bad image of government officials. Normally, a person in such a high position getting busted for something that big is shocking enough, but it gets worse in that he is the second governor if Illinois in a row to get arrested on federal criminal charges. His predecessor, George Ryan, was arrested a few years ago, on corruption charges as well. Oh! What’s happening to these people? Blagojevich haven’t learning yet from the mistake of the former governor- George Ryan. Blagojevich evidently assumed that he was King of Illinois and did Barack Obama recently vacate trying to literally sell the Senate seat. According to Illinois law, the governor determines who fills the seat, and Blagojevich figured that it was a quick way to make a buck or two. Well, it would be an understatement to say he got a little greedy. The FBI compiled a 76-page indictment against Harris and Blagojevich. He was caught on wiretap last month, and the FBI waited to get even more evidence against him, which they did. He claims that everything he did and said was legal. Residents of the state of Illinois will just have to wait and see. The climate in DC appears to be hopeful for now, but darker clouds are on the horizon for Blagojevich and his buddy, Harris. It's likely they’ve seen their last paydays in office. Click to read more on Blagojevich courtesy of Personal Money Store's Payday Loan News.
He could have worn a sandwich board with the starting bids. He could have tatooed it on his forehead, though with that hair we would have never seen it. He could have shaved it into that nasty old mop he calls hair. There are a million ways he could have been more obnoxious…doesn't make him any less of a dope though.
The mark of a true narcissist is they always start off with the assumption that they know more than anybody else. He obviously believed that he would never be caught by the bumbling federal investigators he knew were investigating him. Blagojevich is holding on to his Governor's seat while he tries to negotiate that power for a better deal. The part of it that galls me the most was his assumption he knows more than everybody else. The only person that really knows more than everybody else would be Stephen T. Colbert DFA.
Leggo my Bago