December 19 at 6:16PM
The Indecision 2008 Awards for Indecision 2008, Brought to You by Indecision 2008: The Best Political Faux Pas
Politicians are gonna fuck up. We know that. In fact, we count on it. Because it's usually the only sign of humanity that we can find in them.
Plus, it's usually pretty funny.
Just thinking back through the past couple election cycles, we can come up with a number of really choice fuck-ups without even thinking that hard (which we never do).
* Sen. George Allen calling a some Indian dude with a camera a "macaca." That didn't help his election chances.
* Gov. Howard Dean yelping like a barbarian in front of a flock of TV cameras. Still being made fun of.
* Alan Keyes ever seriously running for anything. Hilarious.
So cast your nominations for the best political fuck-ups of 2008 in the comments below.
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Cube is damned thorough. I have only one. But it's a big one, probably the biggest, and I'll explain why.
Phil Gramm, former US Senator, R-TX, for calling us a 'nation of whiners', and saying we were suffering from a 'mental recession'.
It was Phil Gramm that co-sponosored and pushed hard for the legislation that became the Commodities Futures Modernization Act of 2000, which simultaneously created the Enron Loophole and brought into being Credit Default Swaps. Of course, we all know what happened to Enron, and most of us are aware of the key destructive role that Credit Default Swaps have played in our current economic crisis. Graham is also vice-chairman of UBS Bank, a large recipient of your good-natured taxpayer largess.
Graham is personally responsible for two of the largest market bubble collapses in history, destroying literally millions of retirements, millions of lives' financial security, and then personally profiting from those same peoples' bailout of his bank, making the whole thing a grandiose hat-trick of ass fuckings. America bleeds from the anus because of this man. And the whole mess would just go away and all get better if we'd all just stop crying, wipe our collective noses, suck it up, and walk it off, you whiny bitches.
John McCain – "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" the day Wall Street blew up.
Sarah Palin – with Katie Couric. It was both hilarious and terrifying at the same time. God help us.
Rod Blagojevich – trying to sell your President's Senate seat. WTF! Bonus points: calling your new President a motherf*&%$# on tape.
Jesse Jackson – threatening the new political rising star of African Americans to cut off his youknowwhat. Jealousy I tell you.
Rev. Wright – chip so big on his shoulder that he can't even be proud and thank God that a member from his congregation who he's known for years becomes the first Black President. Jackass.
Bernie Madoff – I know, I know; he's not a politician. But with all the catastrophic damage and lives he's taken, on top off the recession, I just had to add him in.
Bush.
Dick Cheney – puppet master of Bush.
sarah palin.
not a specific incident just Sarah Palin.
*Gov. Sarah Palin getting phone pranked by a couple of Canadian DJ's into thinking she was talking to French President, Nicolas Sarkozy.
*Bob Barr: C'mon. It's Bob Barr.
*John Edwards getting busted porking some flusy by the National Enquirer.
*Gov. Sarah Palin thinking Africa was a country and deducing the proximity of Russia to Alaska equates to foreign policy experience. Really that's two fuck-ups. Actually, all of her interviews.
*Joe Biden's guarantee of a manufactured crisis testing Obama's mettle within his first six months in office.
*Rudy Giuliani's failed one-state strategy.
*Hillary Clinton's wee-bit of underestimating a particular former rival.
*Mitt Romney hanging with some brothers on the street rapping "Who Let The Dogs Out."
*Joe Lieberman betting on the wrong horse.
*Barack Obama getting Barack Rolled.
*George W. Bush: his entire term being a fuck-up on wheels with turbo.
*Mike Huckabee writing a book called, "Do The Right Thing" when everything in it is wrong.
*Eliot Spitzer: Nailing a hot call girl and not defending himself.
*Larry Craig: Worst impression of Fred Astaire.
*Blago: Blah, blah, blah (too easy). Worst impression of Stephen King without glasses in spandex we ought not see.
*Alan Keyes for suing in California to contest Obama's birth certificate and supporting Philip Berg, the biggest scumbag attorney ever.
(Jeez, you're right — there are a lot of fuckups)
*Gary Coleman: After a promising campaign for governor, ruining his impeccable reputation by ending his marriage on Divorce Court this year.
*Fred Thompson: Coughing and sleeping.
*All the minorities and women The RNC propped up for the Presidency.
*John McCain approving ads comparing Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton to Barack Obama.
*Obama's choice for the faux Parthenon at the Democratic National Convention.
*Chuck Norris as a spokesperson for Huckabee and being neutered by Huffington on Larry King.
*Elizabeth Dole: Stating her opponent didn't believe in God when she in fact was a Sunday School teacher.
*Nancy Reagan: Yeah I'll go there. Great lady, not a politician per se, but supported McCain and The Gipper probably wouldn't have approved.
*Stephen Harper: Creating a sculpture in his likeness with better movement on issues than him.
*Thanksgiving Day Turkey: For posing with President Bush.
(no one else was trying…sorry!)
Like to know why the Screamer got vetted out of existance….Perhaps folks vetting Dean for various jobs didn't care for his racial stances when he was Gov of VT.
Maybe they thought he wasn't smart enough.
He might have torqued the wrong hombre
Is there still an echo reverberating of the scream
One can never quite tell what he did to who to not net at least an ambassadorship to Timbuktu.
You have to wonder, is it the attitude, intellectual horsepower issues, previous demonstrated actions, or did he collect the ire of someone of importance.
That's what inquiring minds want to know. What would the average politician say if they were asked why Howie didn’t win or place? I am dying to everyone and his take in being dissed in the vetting.