Barack Obama to Swear into Office on Homosexual Atheist's Bible
Well, it seems to be official. Barack Obama will be taking the Oath of Office on January 20, 2009, with his right hand planted firmly on the Bible owned by a man who neither believed in a personal god nor preferred the company of women in the bedroom.
That's right. He somehow managed to score the same Bible on which fellow Illinoisiate Abraham Lincoln was sworn in as president…
"President-elect Obama is deeply honored that the Library of Congress has made the Lincoln Bible available for use during his swearing-in," said Presidential Inaugural Committee Executive Director Emmett Beliveau.
"The President-elect is committed to holding an Inauguration that celebrates America's unity, and the use of this historic Bible will provide a powerful connection to our common past and common heritage."
Such a thumbing of the nose at all the good old fashioned family values on which this country was founded will almost certainly come as a blow to all the decent Americans who were hoping that anti-gay rights Christian Pastor Rick Warren's prayer at the inauguration was a signal to their ranks that he would be continuing the current administration's policy of coddling them.
No such luck. By deliberately choosing the Bible of Abraham Lincoln — a man who, if not an absolute homosexual, certainly had strong homosexual leanings, and who believed in neither the Bible nor a personal god — Obama seems to be giving aid and comfort to the enemies of American values.
The day seems to belong to the degenerate heathen sodomites.
Update: Reading through the comments to this post, it occurs to me that yet another tired old stereotype has now been laid to rest…
Liberals are no better at interpreting satire than conservatives are.
Cold, empty, meaningless universe bless America.
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Love, love, love the "update" you included after reading the comments.
Geez…
As a member of the Landover Baptist congregation, I can say that I really enjoy good satire. Sorry Dennis – this ain't it. Sure, using the word "coddling" gave me pause, but the rest was just too bland to be effective. When I read these ridiculous screeds on right wing blogs they always make me laugh – and they're being serious! Since your piece wasn't funny and didn't succeed as a satirical piece, it must be because the readers can't interpret satire, right?
Here's a thought: did it occur to you that maybe you did a poor job of writing satire in this instance?
To the person who thinks Lincoln was racist (black thought):
As you well know, your quote is from the Lincoln-Douglas Debate. Lincoln was facing an incumbent, and both he and Douglas did all they could to try and get votes. When they debated further north, both of them said less racist stuff. When they debated further south, they both said more racist stuff. During the war, he always said slavery was a peripheral issue. That was because he needed to keep people from bailing on the war. But then he issued the Emancipation Proclomation and unexpected executive orders that granted unheard of rights to African-Americans. It came out of nowhere, and no one was in much of a position to stop it from happening. Did he change his mind? Or was he just waiting until he finally had the opportunity to do it? He certainly didn't have to do these things. Timing-wise, it's almost as if he was just waiting for the moment when he was able to do it, and the only reason he really had for doing it was because he believed it was the right thing to do. I think what Batman said was true. It's what you *do* that defines you.
Why does the President has to swear on any bible? a religious book way to old and out of touch with 21st century living.
He should use the Constitution of the USA, or similar historical document instead.
The Bible is a living book and God will not be mocked. God is the author of the centuries. you better give him glory while you still have breath in your body. It is a blessing that he has mercy on even those who hate him. Take that mercy, stop striving with him, and give your life to him. It belongs to him anyway. In the end every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord. EVEN YOU.
Has anyone ever thought it ironical that the very One whom the Bible testifies of – within the pages of the book that the President swears on – instructs us to not swear at all. We shouldn't swear by Heaven, earth, Bibles or even of ourselves. The president should just say, "Yes, I will perform my duties to the best of my ability". That is how it is supposed to work!
Considering Jesus was gay, I am not so sure what your objection is. Yes, a grown man who never married and always preferred company of men – jeez, do you think Jesus was straight?
obama you have said that this is the turning point and i belive you..i just hope that you can show the whole world that your true to your words
xoxox
GO OBAMA
Wow. How could so many people so completely miss the point by so far a margin?
It's as if God hates satire as well as gays.
ooops, sorry, I thought you were talking about New Life ex-pastor Haggard.