Barack Obama to Swear into Office on Homosexual Atheist's Bible
Well, it seems to be official. Barack Obama will be taking the Oath of Office on January 20, 2009, with his right hand planted firmly on the Bible owned by a man who neither believed in a personal god nor preferred the company of women in the bedroom.
That's right. He somehow managed to score the same Bible on which fellow Illinoisiate Abraham Lincoln was sworn in as president…
"President-elect Obama is deeply honored that the Library of Congress has made the Lincoln Bible available for use during his swearing-in," said Presidential Inaugural Committee Executive Director Emmett Beliveau.
"The President-elect is committed to holding an Inauguration that celebrates America's unity, and the use of this historic Bible will provide a powerful connection to our common past and common heritage."
Such a thumbing of the nose at all the good old fashioned family values on which this country was founded will almost certainly come as a blow to all the decent Americans who were hoping that anti-gay rights Christian Pastor Rick Warren's prayer at the inauguration was a signal to their ranks that he would be continuing the current administration's policy of coddling them.
No such luck. By deliberately choosing the Bible of Abraham Lincoln — a man who, if not an absolute homosexual, certainly had strong homosexual leanings, and who believed in neither the Bible nor a personal god — Obama seems to be giving aid and comfort to the enemies of American values.
The day seems to belong to the degenerate heathen sodomites.
Update: Reading through the comments to this post, it occurs to me that yet another tired old stereotype has now been laid to rest…
Liberals are no better at interpreting satire than conservatives are.
Cold, empty, meaningless universe bless America.
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Retards who are bashing the article like if it was serious….. look at the name of the site….. please do the gene pool a favor and shoot yourselves
Obama is a wise man. By choosing Lincoln's Bible, a paradox in itself considering he was gay and an atheist, The President Elect clearly intends to be nothing less than a subversive. God-Damning Atheist.
Even Philly is better than The South.
Everyone is freaking retarded. It's a freaking JOKE! stop crying to god over absolutely nothing, its because people actually worry themselves over trivial crap like this that American's can't unite for shit.
Barack is up to deceptive mischief. Obama's either subliminally saying "fuck you" to the gays and atheists by swearing on Lincolns Bible and rubbing salt in the wounds with Rick Warren. Or, he is giving a "wink wink" to those who think American values exclude homosexuals and atheists. Always triangulating. Shady Barack. Either that, or he's just swearing in a Bible that is really cool as a matter of American history. That can't be! It's far too reasonable. I think he's a shifty bastard.
Fake. Dennis DiClaudio does not even own a Bible.
Aww poor christians are angry that some queers are going to park it in each other's tail pipe. You know what? They aren't contributing to abortions, the outright killing of people according to Christians, they are keeping the booming population that leads to the destruction of our planet to at least a more tolerable level, and hey you know what? They are keeping us all in fashion.
I think the reason so many people are failing to see the humor in this article is because there isn't any. Despite what the author apparently believes, there's more to humor than just being a snarky jackass.
The ol' gay, atheist, Abraham trick. That'll teach 'em.
this has obviously been photoshopped