George W. Bush Hails Environmental Hero George W. Bush
Hey everybody, happy April Fool's Day. Here's a little prank, courtesy of Fox News, to get us started on this festive day of tomfoolery…
President Bush felt the warm embrace of environmentalists Tuesday as he announced the largest marine conservation effort in history — the designation of three remote Pacific island chains as national monuments.
Some went so far as to compare Bush to Teddy Roosevelt, who created the national park system a century ago.
"This administration has done more for the environment and addressing climate change than any other in history," Kristen Hellmer, a spokeswoman for the Executive Office of the President Council on Environmental Quality, said in a written statement.
Whoops, that's right, it's not April Fool's Day at all. I almost had me convinced there for a minute!
Well anyway, here is the unfooling truth: After eight years of wanton disregard for the environment, President Bush just decided not to sell/drill/dump crap in three far-flung chunks of the Pacific, because there is only so much destruction one man can stomach before he retires, and for this lofty accomplishment his own office was inspired to choke out a whale-sized whopper in the form of a "written statement."
And I am willing to bet you three dozen coconuts that statement was written on the dried skin of a baby sea otter, using a mixture of eagle blood and oil for ink.
RSS
Speaking of George W. Bush:
George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).
George W. Bush did in fact commit innumerable hate crimes.
And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that George W. Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.
Many people know what Bush did.
And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.
Bush was absolute evil.
Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.
Bush is a psychological prisoner.
Bush has a lot to worry about.
Bush can technically be prosecuted for hate crimes at any time.
In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.
Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
“GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE WORST PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY” BLOG OF ANDREW YU-JEN WANG
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I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it is a linguistically excellent statement, and it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memory so it never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think the quotation came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.
"Whoops, that's right, it's not April Fool's Day at all. I almost had me convinced there for a minute!"
No April Fools, just Fox News. But then again…
So Bush's (that's former President Bush-I like the sound of that) office released a misleading statement that exaggerated a token act. And we're surprised why?
I'm guessing there's no oil in those areas.
Its a perfectly legitimate statement. Surely, encouraging climate change is a way to "address climate change."