Joe the Plumber Fights for Sixteen Minutes in a War Zone
Who knew plumbers were so multitalented? Why, since we met him in October, Joe the Plumber has claimed to be starting a charity, writing a book, running for Congress and launching a country music career. Oh, he also shilled digital TV converters and equated an Obama administration with "the death of Israel."
Now we can add another fake title to Rep. Joe the Charitable Plumber Author Foreign Policy Expert Billy Ray $40 Coupon's fake credentials: Joe the War Reporter.
And since he's proven himself capable of pronouncing the word Israel, guess where he's going…
Wurzelbacher will travel to Israel to report for the conservative website, pjtv.com. He intends to get the, often lost, Israeli reason for the offensive against Hamas.
"It's tragic, I mean it really is. I don't say that in any little way. It's very tragic, but at the same time what are the Israeli people suppose to do," says Wurzelbacher.
What, indeed? Surely Wurzelbacher will be able to clear this pesky clog in the world's pipes; it's been backing up the Middle East for ages.
Thousands have died in the fighting. Joe knows the danger is very real, but believes his civic duty is once again calling him to do something bigger than himself. "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance."
Yes, you do, Joe the Christian Plumber Reporter. You do have to take that chance.
Of course, Jews and Muslims haven't been having much luck with mortars over there, but it's probably just them.
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Is Joe nekked in a tub with Warhol filming better than him in Israel? Y'all good writers and stuff sure can transition seamlessly into bile producing imagery. Wonder if the tub would be filled with soup.
Yeah, but let's face it. If Warhol were still alive, he'd have Wurzelbacher naked in a tub with a camera running for 36 hours straight.
Which would, of course, be better than having this guy pretend to report from Gaza.
P.S. M.P.S., I can't believe this floater turned Warhol's maxim on its head.
I guess they're gonna need some plumbing in the West Bank. Joe The Shrewd Infidel Toilet Snake.
Damn. Monday I was thinking to myself, "I haven't heard anything about Joe-the-not-Joe-Plumber. Maybe he has finally crawled back under his rock."
Seriously pjtv? No one knows why Israel is firing missiles and sending ground troops into Gaza? Only Joe understands.
Do these people not watch the news or read the newspapers? It was practically wall-to-wall coverage last weekend. And yet no one knows but Joe-the-not-Joe.
And thousands have died in this latest boarder war? Hamas must be lowballing their estimate because they put their death toll at 763. Israel must really be lying, because they puts their death toll at 11. Thousands dead in the fighting? Okay.
By the way, if Joe is "pretty well protected by God" does that mean I can start throwing baseballs at this ass clown? Pretty Please… with sugar and a cherry on top.