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January 8 at 12:24PM by Dennis DiClaudio

Mad Magazine: Barack Obama's First 100 Minutes – EXCLUSIVE

As Barack Obama prepares to take office in less than two weeks — still seems like an eternity, doesn't it? — There's been a lot of talk about how he'll spend, and what he'll achieve, during his first 100 days in office.

Even though he's warned against expecting miracles during that time period and has tried in vain to consider instead his first 1,000 days in office (yeah, right), the speculation does not end.

Mad Magazine has a different question: What will Barack Obama achieve during his first 100 minutes in office?

In an exclusive timetable that they've been kind enough to exclusively share with us exclusively, they break that initial hour and forty minutes down. Here's a sampling of their findings…

Minutes 1-2: Round up Michelle and kids, give finger to Bush and Cheney, head to Oval Office

Minute 3: Remove stupid flag pin from lapel

Minutes 10-13: Sneak out to Rose Garden for a quick smoke

Minute 25: Go on Facebook; put out a friend request to Ahmadinejad (with no preconditions)

Minute 26: Remind Biden to "shut his f*#king cakehole"

Minutes 45-48: Sneak out to Rose Garden for a quick smoke

Minutes 65-67: Delete "private" Scarlett Johansson photos before surrendering Blackberry to Secret Service

Minutes 91-99: Do a little blow

Read the whole thing here

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  1. What an awesome article. And to think that this issue isn't even available at The MAD Store.Com (home to THOUSANDS of back issues of MAD Magazine, CRACKED, CRAZY, SICK and NATIONAL LAMPOON and located at http://www.themadstore.com) yet!

    by Scott January 9th at 12:51PM
  2. Friedman's art impresses as always. The writing's good too (especially # 86).

    by Capracorn January 9th at 11:38AM
  3. 101- Call maintenance, have them install a secret exhaust fan in the Oval Office. Tell them that if Michelle finds out, they're out of there.

    102-2012: Revise the social contract.

    by Anonymouse January 9th at 10:01AM
  4. WHOA what an awesome cover. MAD is still going strong. Haha Obama smokes a lot eh? At least now that Bush is almost gone, they've got some harder targets.

    by Anthony January 9th at 7:06AM
  5. It will be interesting to see thats for sure

    http://www.web-privacy.pro.tc

    by John Jones January 9th at 6:43AM
  6. Mad just gets better with age.
    http://www.madcoversite.com

    by Doug January 8th at 11:42PM
  7. What, me worry?

    by JCM January 8th at 9:13PM
  8. What a riot. After all these years, MAD still has it. I have an old collection of MAD magazines and they have always been great with political satire. I actually have one from the early 70's with a whole Watergate spoof of phone calls that still gets me. I bought up a bunch of them in The Village years ago at some unreal comic book store. Near Washington Square Park (I think) where they used to sell shitty bags of pot. Hence, my random collection of MAD magazines.

    by Cube January 8th at 4:23PM
  9. I'm sorry, but this is funny:

    "Even though he's warned against expecting miracles during that time period and has tried in vain to consider instead his FIST 1,000 days in office (yeah, right), the speculation does not end."

    Or did you mean to spell it that way. Either way, well done!

    by Hilo January 8th at 3:53PM
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