Mad Magazine: Barack Obama's First 100 Minutes – EXCLUSIVE
As Barack Obama prepares to take office in less than two weeks — still seems like an eternity, doesn't it? — There's been a lot of talk about how he'll spend, and what he'll achieve, during his first 100 days in office.
Even though he's warned against expecting miracles during that time period and has tried in vain to consider instead his first 1,000 days in office (yeah, right), the speculation does not end.
Mad Magazine has a different question: What will Barack Obama achieve during his first 100 minutes in office?
In an exclusive timetable that they've been kind enough to exclusively share with us exclusively, they break that initial hour and forty minutes down. Here's a sampling of their findings…
Minutes 1-2: Round up Michelle and kids, give finger to Bush and Cheney, head to Oval Office
Minute 3: Remove stupid flag pin from lapel
Minutes 10-13: Sneak out to Rose Garden for a quick smoke
Minute 25: Go on Facebook; put out a friend request to Ahmadinejad (with no preconditions)
Minute 26: Remind Biden to "shut his f*#king cakehole"
Minutes 45-48: Sneak out to Rose Garden for a quick smoke
Minutes 65-67: Delete "private" Scarlett Johansson photos before surrendering Blackberry to Secret Service
Minutes 91-99: Do a little blow
Read the whole thing here…
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Mad magazine, forget an excerpt of his inauguration speech, "Now I know many of you are excited to see history happening–you want to see chitlins served at the first white/black house on Pennsylvania Ave.,–it's not going to happen, you burned out pot smoking, hippies from the 60's–you're having a flashback! I faked the conversion to Christianity to get into Harvard as ethnic minority!–I'm really still a Muslim! Allah, is great! Because of our dietary laws–no pig parts will be at my state dinner! No dinner for you! Sucka!
do a lil blow? take the flag pin off? so basically you're saying his a fucking coke addict, none-patriot S.O.B.?? FUCK YOU PEOPLE!!!
From the moment I saw this new issue in the warehouse, I knew that there'd be many people unwilling to accept it for the satire that it is. Screw them.
Thanks for the opportunity to snicker at the obscene amount of publicity given to a man who has lots of 'promise'; who has been placed atop a soapbox I dearly hope he can remain standing upon, considering the shape of the country he'll be in charge of.
As for me, next Tuesday, I'm going bowling.
Ha hahaha, w/e Frankie from Boston. Yeah like politicians don't do coke, Tommy Chong doesn't smoke pot. What's funny is you tell ppl a lie and they believe it, you tell the truth and they don't believe you.
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We went through 43 presidents all wonder bread and look where we are today. We have abused two important gifts that were giving to us which is life and our planet earth which is old and worn out. I cant see where anybody can go wrong that takes that position. Obama has a better chance being a success then a failure.
Baaarrraaackk. Wow that felt better. This economy has me puking
24/7.
If the new president was green would the martians show up? What
is all the hype about; the colour of a president. Who cares. Ask
not about the colour of the dude and lets see what he does for his country. I mean really. Enjoy the hype. Parties over. Time for operation cleanup after the republican party. Good luck Barry.
Baarraacck. Man I wish I wish I could stop throwing up.
These Obama mad magazines are so funny:
http://tinyurl.com/chnzzx
The cover picture of Barack Obama during the " First 100
Minutes of His Presidency " is hilarious ! It attracted me to read the funniest and sarcastic comments ever read. I have " chuckled " while reading this crazy magazine. I wonder if this new President had any look at it ? If not why not send him this issue ? He probably will laugh or what else ? It would be interesting to see what his reaction would be ! Anyhow, despite the various negative reactions from the many bloggers, I find it
very funny !
Bill C
hahaha, i bet the president gets the best drugs